So I’ve scheduled this post to be added to the blog at a time, I’m hopefully asleep. you’ll understand why if you read my previous post.

But as I write this post, I’m watching a tv show, due to the whole not sleeping thing. In fact that’s probably part of why I’m still awake, but that’s not something we’re going to touch right now.

As I watch this program, I’ve stopped, started, muted and googled things many times. And this is how I generally watch tv when alone. It’s obviously not appropriate to do this when watching tv with others. When I’m doing that I’m just usually on my phone.

I think it’s a control thing. I think it’s wanting to know the future but not experiencing the emotions that come with that. And I obviously have the most control over TV when I watch it alone.

It’s a silly thing to want control over. But when you feel as if you don’t have a lot of control in your life, you’ll take any control you can get, and that includes TV. Controlling the rest of the world, the rest of my life, feels inaccessible to me. Controlling watch I watch on TV and how exactly I watch it, is not.

Sometimes getting a little bit of control back can help. And I think as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone, including yourself controlling the little things can’t be bad.

But all of this really means that it’s just better that I watch TV alone. So I can do it at the speed that I want to do it.