Tag: Writing

Freedom.

On By Katy DalyIn My Disability Truth, Writing PromptsLeave a comment

What are the most important things needed to live a good life?

I understand that this can be a complex question, because it depends what you think a good life is, but I guess that’s the point.

Personally I would have to say one of the most important things needed to live a good life, whatever you believe that to be is Freedom. Freedom can look different to everyone. It can be the safety to live independently from others, or the ability to choose what you wear, how you look and where you go when you want.

Essentially I think Freedom is defined as living whatever life you want to live, within the bounds of not causing harm to others obviously.

Everything else I can think of that someone might need to live a good life, all stems from this idea of having the freedom to live the way they want to live.

A good life is a life that makes you happy, a life that doesn’t intentionally hurt others, life doing the things you enjoy.

I know this is a vague answer to the question but I don’t really want to be more specific, as I know that a good life can only really be defined by the person who is living it. The one thing I am clear about is that you do not live a good life if your life involves intentionally hurting others. This is never a good life, just keep to your own good life, and let others live theres.

By my own definitions here I don’t life a good life, I can’t do what I want when I want it because I need help to do it, make of that what you will.

When you need help for a lot of things in life, Freedom is conditional, so in my opinion it’s not really freedom.

I don’t live a bad life, by any stretch. I live the best life I can with the situation that my life has been presented to me. But I struggle sometimes to see it as a good life, by what I truly believe a good life to be.

Well that’s a question.

On By Katy DalyIn Writing PromptsLeave a comment

If you had to change your name, what would your new name be?

Your name says a lot about who you are I think. And I honestly can’t say what I would change my name to, or if I would at all.

I’ve always liked the name Jamie, though I can’t recall exactly why, it just sounds nice. So maybe that.

I want to write.

On By Katy DalyIn My Writing4 Comments

I think I want to write. I can feel the ideas, feel the words. But for some reason I can’t put my pen to paper, even the virtual sense. So I resort what I always resort to at these times, to writing thing about writing.

They say you should write what you feel, and I guess when you experience writers block, writing about writers block makes sense. But I don’t know if I have writers block. I don’t know if I really understand what writers block actually is. And I don’t think trying to understand whether or not I actually have writers block, will help me with the whole writing thing.

Why is it so hard to do the things you really want to do?

It’s the only thing I know that just maybe I’m any good at, why can’t I just do it?

The irony of me being informed after I posted this, that this is my 500th post on this blog is not lost on me.

I’m disabled.

On By Katy DalyIn My Disability TruthLeave a comment

Language matters. And to some, the word disabled is the wrong word to use.

Some people prefer words like “differently abled” or “different ability”, but I’ll be honest these don’t sit right with me.

To me using the word disabled is simply factual. I am disabled, while there are some things I do differently, there are things I cannot do. And I don’t think this is something I should feel bad about or not acknowledge.

I feel like those who don’t use the word disabled want to change the language to make them feel better about their disability, which is of course their right to do. But I would rather own the language.

There’s nothing wrong with being disabled. It makes you who you are and you deserve to live in the world.

Being differently abled doesn’t make you not disabled, and that’s okay. Disabled is not a bad word, it just is. And I don’t like it when people think it is, it feels like they think I’m wrong for existing and being happy with that.

I don’t really know what else to say about this, without repeating myself. But remember language changes for us, we don’t need to change for language.

Sorry? I guess.

On By Katy DalyIn My Disability TruthLeave a comment

Not feeling great today.

Do you ever do that this where you know exactly what you want to write about, until you got to write it, because honestly same.

I’m blaming the fact I had the covid vaccine yesterday, and I don’t feel great, but it’s better than covid.

Daily posting.

On By Katy DalyIn Blog2 Comments

If you pay enough attention to this blog, you may notice that I posted multiple times yesterday and then deleted the posts.

This is because my streak on this blog feels like it’s very important to me. And for a reason I’m not sure about, my posts missed a day 3 days ago, so I lost the steak.

This post is a test post to see if I’ve fixed the problem.

I know it might seem silly that I post daily on this blog, or that the steak matters to me. But on days when I’m struggling with my self-worth the fact I’ve posted on this blog, the fact this blog is still going, means a lot to me.

I have tried to post many blogs before, and usually given up. But every post in this blog is a reminder that I haven’t given up yet.

I don’t know if I think about being non-disabled to much.

On By Katy DalyIn My Disability Truth1 Comment

Sometimes I spend a lot of time thinking about what my life might be like if I wasn’t disabled. The life I may have been able to live if things were different, if the world that I live in, became accessible to me.

It’s nice sometimes to let my imagination wander, but I do wonder if I do it to much. I do wonder if I spend to much time thiking about what could be, and if it causes me more harm than good. No amount of time thinking about things maybe being different is actually going to make the world accessible to me. No amount of staring at a steps is going to turn them into ramps. This is paraphrasing of a quote by Ali Tanaka, if you want to look into it more. No amount of focusing on not being disabled, is going to make me not be disabled. But the world is hard, and sometimes you end up there.

I know that logically I need to focus on my reality, focus on today, on where I am now. To make the best of a bad situation, as it were. And some days I can do that no problem, some days I know my life relative speaking is pretty good. Other times I’m really struggling with the idea of existing for the rest of my life as me.

I’ve tried to do something with my life, to make the best of it. But there’s only so many times you can fight against the inacessability of the world around you, before you wonder why you even try. But I deal with things the best I can, as we all do.

The funny thing, that isn’t really funny, is how I get judged by people who don’t know me for how I deal with life. A post like this would be called to negative, even though ofren it’s more real than the positivity I feel forced to disaplay to the world. Honesty itsn’t something people tend to want out of you when your disabled.

When I started this post I knew where I was going with it, but the more I have written, the less I have been sure. Sorry, I’m trying.

Opening my laptop

On By Katy DalyIn My Disability Truth, My WritingLeave a comment

The last post I wrote here was on my difficulties writing, and now that I’ve opened my laptop, I feel like in a way I could write more. That got me wondering if my biggest issues is opening my laptop? Like a more techy version of struggling to pick up your pen, I suppose. Once it’s in your hand, the hardest part is over.

So maybe once I open my laptop, or perhaps more specifically the file I’m working on, the hardest part is over. Who knows?

All this said, as I sit here writing this, despite my increased motivation to do so, I can feel the fatigue setting in my body. Despite only having been awake a couple of hours, I know that I could really do with a nap. But i don’t want to put that need to nap on the person I live with. We’re watching something together, and I don’t want to destry, I mean I don’t want my fatigue to destroy what we are doing. I know they will be okay with me sleeping, but it being something that feels so out of my control, doesn’t mean I don’t feel guilty. If I’m completely honest it makes me feel more guilty.

It’s an odd feeling, being both motivated to write, and fatigued at the same time. My brain feels wired, with words and ideas. It feels like breathing to get them out, to see them on a screen, to get some sort of release. Like I don’t even have to try to get it done. But my body feels tired, like I can’t keep up with the words I want to write. Like my body didn’t sleep last night, even though ny brain did,

This isn;t how I always experience fatigue, just how I’m experiencing it right now. The physical slowness, tiredness, is always there. However the mental tiredness comes and goes with the fatigue. Sometimes my brain feels just as tired as my body, and that is actually easier to deal with. At least everything I am feeling then is on the same page, right now it all feels to different to suceed at at.

I have so many ideas that I want to get out, but right now it feels harder to get the words out over the tiredness.

I just need a nap, sorry.