Tag: Wheelchair User

I built this

On By Katy DalyIn BlogLeave a comment
Image Description: A 4 level grey cat tree with hammock and condo.

So it’s been a while since I posted here and I don’t really have a reason for why that is apart from life did its thing.

Honestly, I can’t remember when the last time I posted was, was it after dad died? I don’t know.

I now live alone, did you know that? Isn’t that cool? That’s something I never thought I’d be able to do, just like building this cat tree independently. If I do say so myself I’m doing pretty well, the cat tree looks nice and I haven’t burned the flat down yet.

It hasn’t all been easy. Recently I had to go without my Chair, and more importantly, Imogen while I didn’t have my chair, that wasn’t fun. But I think I handled that well too. And things are supposed to be hard some of the time right?

I don’t know when I’ll next write on this blog. It might be soon, it could be tomorrow, next week or next month. I don’t want to make promises I won’t end up keeping, so let’s just say we’ll see what happens. But I just wanted to say I’m still here, life is still ticking on. And I hope if you find yourself wandering the blogs of the world, and stumble across me, you’re well.

My last concert

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Almost a week I attended what will be my last concert, and it has taken me a week to fund the strength to write about it, due to just how automatic the experience was.

Music is a freeing experience for me, it is one of few places in this world where i do not feel constricted by my disability, where I do not feel disabled. But concerts often have the reverse effect, and they really did this time.

I went to a Dean Lewis concert, and I suppose as final concerts go it was a good way to finish a bad run. I made the mistake of going back to a venue I already knew was inaccessible to me, by this I mean that although the venue was technically wheelchair accessible, I knew the view it would provide me with wasn’t. Contrary to popular belief just because the venue in wheelchair accessible, doesn’t actually mean it will provide an accessible view to wheelchair users.

I was told previously that I would be able to go on the main floor when visiting that venue again, after my first very poor experience of it. However, when I went this time, I was told this was not possible due to there being no risk assessment of a wheelchair user being on the main floor. I found this confusing as I can’t really understand why I would have been previously given permission to do something that I was never going to be able to do due to lack of risk assessment.

I also don’t really understand why I’m more of a risk in a crowd full of people than the drunk people in that crowd are. Of the many concerts I’ve been to at this point, I’ve never once been the person that needed help of any kind. It isn’t about my safety. It is about the venues, fear of being sued. I argue that I in fact more safe to be in that crowd than many other people, once I’m in it, I do not move. And surely the people within the crowd have some responsibility for their own safety, is it not their job to ensure that they are not injured by someone in a still and unmoving wheelchair?

We really need to move past the idea of the accessibility for disabled people is just getting them into the building, that’s it’s just taking a box to say we tried. In some ways this is where the legal requirement for accessibility hold us back. People don’t actually consider the accessibility of a venue as long as it meets these legal requirements and the legal requirements are outdated and basic.

I cannot put myself through this again, I’m scared if I keep trying it’ll ruin music for me. Music saved my life. I’ll take a lot of it that’s freeing, over a little more of it that’s debilitating.

Disabled people deserve fun. And I’m tired of that being an argument. I’m tired of nice excuses, and lovely people not be able to do anything about it, and feeling bad. But nothing changes because no one sees that it should.

I just want to dance.

The venue was – The Victoria Warehouse,

Chocolate

On By Katy DalyIn My Disability Truth, My WritingLeave a comment

What snack would you eat right now?

At least that’s what I said even though it wasn’t really what I wanted. What I actually wanted wasn’t even food, but a lot of the time I don’t feel like the things I want are important enough for me to ask for. \

What I really wanted was for my little girls polar bear teddy to be moved so that it sits over her urn correctly. I don’t think really that’s too much for me to ask for, but I know that the person helping me will think that it is. So I felt I had to make up something more acceptable that I needed there help with, like the fact I wanted some chocolate.

That is one thing I’ve learnt after having a lifetime of help from others, people will judge you for the things you need help with. They might still do the things you ask them to do but they will be very strange about it, and if you ask for to many things that fall into the category, they will simply choose not to help you anymore.

When you need a lot of help from others, you have to have your life run by them. It all ultimately comes down to what they will actually do for you, if they say no, then you are stuck.

I don’t think people really understand what that is like until it happens to them. It is really hard to grasp what it is really like to have everything in your life controlled, and as a result at least in some way judged by other people.

It’s difficult to believe I have a right to have a say in anything in my life, when I know anything ultimately comes down to others. That is why I struggle when people ask me what I want in any situations, because it just feels like that ultimately doesn’t matter.

Anyway, as for now I have the chocolate, so I’m going to eat some now at least.

Why are accessible services so complicated?

On By Katy DalyIn Blog, My Disability TruthLeave a comment

So I’ve been trying to get on to a transport service in my local area, specifically aimed at those who would struggle to use public transport or drive for whatever reason. While they are technically accessible if you use a wheelchair, like most of the things in society, they are still extra complicated for wheelchair users.

I expect things to be more complicated when I try to access them as a wheelchair user, but there’s something that little bit more annoying when trying to access a service specifically aimed at people like me. You would just think they’d be more prepared, that they would know what they were doing. That there would be less steps, if anything,,but definitely not me.

I know I’ll get through all the extra nonsense yet again and be able to use the service. But there’s just so much of it, and it keeps happening. It really feels like society is punishing me sometimes for being disabled.

Sleeping in my chair.

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This is where I’m spending my night tonight. It’s not good for me but it’s worth being able to spend time with my siblings. But that’s the way it has to be sometimes, when you live in an inaccessible world. You have to be the one to sacrifice to spend time with the people you care about.

My chair cut out randomly today.

On By Katy DalyIn My Disability TruthLeave a comment
Video Description: The video is of me in my electric wheelchair on the ramp outside my house. I am waving as I speak.

So this wasn’t the post I was planning to scare today. I’m still of two minds as to whether it’s time to start writing on this blog again yet. Does anyone else get the feeling after you loose someone that’s it to soon to start getting on with life? But at the same time it’ll always be to soon and you’ll have to start getting on with things anyway?

Today my chair cut out on the ramp outside my flat. It has temporarily been fixed and I am waiting on the engineer to get it fixed properly, so don’t worry I am no longer stuck on the ramp. And thankfully I had people that were able to help me with this situation.

But it kind of ruined my plans for the day. Which was only going to get my flu vaccine, so it’s not the end of the world, but still. It’s really frustrating when something to do with my disability ruins my plans for the day. It reminds me that I’m not really in control of my life, my condition is, or the technology I use is, I suppose.

This is the reality of a life spent relying on technology. Some of us have no choice in our reliance, but that doesn’t stop the technology being fallible. Something can always brake, something can always go wrong. And it stops my life in its tracks when that happens.

When it happened in all honesty I just didn’t know what to do, because it had never happened before. One advantage of this, other than at least for today not having to get jabbed in the arm, is I now know what to do if this happens again, though obviously I hope it doesn’t. And it happening today it’s not the end of the world.

My chairs being fixed now as I finish this post. But here’s an important reminder if you or someone you know is reliant on technology to live there day to day life. Technology will have faults. It will most likely stop a person being able to do what they want to with there day from time to time. It’s not their fault and they feel bad enough about it, so don’t make them feel worse about it.

Nobody puts baby in the corner.

On By Katy DalyIn Blog1 Comment

But sometimes it’s best to put me in the corner.

And that’s just the reality of living in a society where 99% of the homes are inaccessible to you. But you still have family, you still have people you wanna spend time with especially unimportant dates, like today was for me. So you allow yourself to be put into the corner to be out of everyone else’s way.

To be fair to them, it was the best place to put me to give me the best view of the room. But it did feel very very much like I’d be in the way if I was anywhere anywhere else. So is it really a choice then, if I feel like like I have no other options?

At least I got to be involved. At least I can get in the house at all. At least I was some consideration when they were looking for a home. Even though I do have to go up and down a very dodgy and frankly scary ramp to get in and out. At least I have some access which is better than none.

I worry that I’m never going to feel as if I belong anywhere. Even in my own home but especially in society as a whole. And being in someone else’s house is just a reminder of that.

I know it’s wrong for me to make their home all about me. But I also feel like I have to think about about me because someone has to think about me and the rest of society has failed to do that. But can I judge the people I care about about, the individuals themselves for the home they choose, when the majority of homes are inaccessible to me to begin with.

The answer is it would not be fair to. And yet I wish I could, I wish it would be fair of me to blame someone sometimes for how inaccessible the world is to me. Not just be mad at the somehow non-existent yet also everywhere “society” that is to blame. People caused the ableism I am forced to live with, and yet in most situations I can not be mad at people for it. I know why but at the same times, it makes absolutely no sense.

But at least I can get in the home of the people who I care about. Despite my the fears and difficulties and only being able to get in one room. At least I was a thought, right? And something is better than nothing.



Sometimes disabled people need to travel together.

On By Katy DalyIn BlogLeave a comment

But unfortunately, public transport is rarely built for us to do this. And neither our taxis, in reality.

The truth is society doesn’t really seem to want disabled people to travel anywhere, never mind together. but sometimes we’ve got to do what we’ve go to do just like everybody else sometimes travelling with the disabled people.

It’s funny, in that way that’s not funny, that I’m here justifying travelling as a necessity, because doing any thing for fun is just unthinkable as a disabled person.

But public transport really needs to be accommodating of more than one visibly disabled person at a time. Can you image if it only accommodated one (visibly) non-disabled person at a time? Society would all be mad and be saying it’s a waste of money, but when it’s disabled people it’s justifiable.

To make matters worse society often pushes disabled people together, especially when we’re young, they believe we should all be friends. And maybe that’s because they don’t want us to be friend with non-disabled people, but they don’t want to feel guilty for us having no friends.

I don’t know if this is true, but it is something I’ve always believed. I’ve definitely had non-disabled people introduce me to disabled people with the assumption that we’re going to be friends just because we’re both disabled.

And then they create a society that’s not designed to have us in it together. Which honestly makes no sense.

Can we not give advice to people that didn’t ask for any?

On By Katy DalyIn Blog, My Disability TruthLeave a comment

I don’t understand why people do it. That’s a lie I do understand it. I just don’t like it.

Today someone gave me “advice” that I didn’t ask for, and it’s less what they said and more the implications that came with what they said.

I was travelling with someone else who need some assistance to walk independently. This could not be achieved safely on the pavements, due to the uneven nature of the pavements, and so it was safer for us to be in the road.

But someone decided to pull up and inform me that doing this was dangerous. The way you would tell a child not to walk in the road, or play in the street as they say.

Firstly I am an adult. I am cable of keeping myself, and the person I was with, safe. You wouldn’t assume a non- disabled person wasn’t able to do this, so why are you assuming this of a disabled person?

Secondly, if you see a disabled person doing something you don’t understand, don’t immediately assume they’re doing it wrong. A lot of disabled people learn how to do things safely, but differently to how you might consider something should be done. You’d be better of assuming that they just know what they’re doing unless you are sure they aren’t.

I promise you, no disabled person, and especially no wheelchair user, is going in the road for fun. Pavements are a lot less accessible than you might realise.

I promise I know how to exist in an inaccessible world as a disabled person. I’ve been doing it long enough.

Your advice isn’t needed or wanted, and is frankly very insulting.

Reliance on technology

On By Katy DalyIn My Disability TruthLeave a comment

I am reliant on a lot of technology to live my life. One of the most important pieces of technology and reliant on is my wheelchair, but this can break like any other piece of technology can. At the minute I am dealing with a few different wheelchair related problems including footplates that are the wrong height, alongside cushions that are no longer functional and batteries that do not work properly.

When I went to have a the cushion looked at recently I was told that not only do I need a new cushion but my foot plates were the wrong height. If I’m honest, I was confused by that because I’ve had a foot plates at this height for many years. But although I use these chairs, I don’t know a lot about sitting in them correctly so I believe the professional who saw me at my appointment and allow them to fix what they saw as the issue. They were hired but now my feet no longer stay on the foot plates.

While waiting for the cushions to be replaced, I found it was causing too much of a problem for me that my feet would not stay on the foot plate anymore, so I contacted them for a solution. But as if that wasn’t enough of a problem while waiting for solution to these two issues, I developed a problem with my batteries.

Again in trying to be helpful, I did something I’ve done many times before, I picked up some prescriptions for others and took it to them. By the time I got to the house, which isn’t all that far from mine, I had very little battery left in my wheelchair. I had to get someone to walk me home to make sure I got there okay without my chair stopping like it often does when the batteries are really dead. The only way to tell when the batteries is on my wheelchair are going is when they no longer last the distance that they previously did. There’s no indicator on the chair, or any way to really predict the batteries going before they start to go.

This means I had to call the wheelchair services that provide maintenance to my chair and book an appointment for them to replace my batteries as soon as possible. This was something they were able to do quicker than the other repairs I am waiting on, both because batteries are obviously more important but also because they are standard and more easily replaceable than other parts of the chair. But it means I have to put my life on hold to some extent until the batteries are replaced. I have plans tomorrow for example, but I may not be able to follow through on them depending how well my battery wants to work between now and when it will be changed on Monday.

While some people might understand a little bit about what it is like to be reliant on technology in modern society, as tech technology needed a lot. You can’t really understand what it is like to need technology like those with disabilities often do unless you’re in that situation. Technology doesn’t just make things easier, when you’re disabled, it makes things possible.

It can make life difficult, as I promise you it will usually brake at the most inappropriate time for it to brake. But in reality, there’s no good time for something that you need so much to brake. You just have to learn to get by as best you can, and wait for it to be repaired. But I really wish I didn’t have to rely on technology sometimes, especially when it doesn’t work properly.

Hopefully I’ll get my batteries changed on Monday, and the other problems fixed as soon as possible. Then nothing will go wrong with my chair, and I can get on with my life without having to stop it for broken vital technology, for a good while.