I know I’m addicted to social media. The problem is I don’t see it as a bad thing. The freedom social media gives me outweighs any harm the addiction may cause to me, I believe.
Also we’re definitely all addicted to something and I could be addicted to something a lot worse for me. I think.
Anyway, point is I have it back. I don’t really know how, but I’m very glad. There’s a lot of history for me on that account including photos and my mum’s account, who died last year. Point being this acount is important to me and I’m glad to have it back.
As I believe I have said on here before, social media is one of the ways that I had been able to make the world accessible to me. For this reason I hate when people start making blanket complaints about social media being bad, when in my experience it can do so much good. I truly believe that the problem lies in the way social media is used, by others. not in the social media platforms themselves.
Right now however I am locked out of my Facebook, which in a way feels like I am locked out of the part of the world, part of my world. Facebook safety security or something like that, as denied me access to an account I have had my whole life.
I’m a currently hoping my account can be recovered. But right now I feel like some of the most important people in my life, are no longer within my reach.
So I guess this is just a message to say, don’t judge what people use social media for, don’t judge how someone accesses the world, don’t judge a life you don’t understand. And don’t judge a technology, just because some of the people using it are bad.
Yesterday someone randomly handed me a small amount of money in the street. There was no warning they simple came up to me and gave it me. I tried to give it back to them, but they wouldn’t take it and walked away. I obviously didn’t feel comfortable keeping money that wasn’t mine, so I donated it.
When I posted this on my local Facebook group to inform the person should they read it what I had done with the money, all of the comments praised them for their actions. I understand why they reacted positively and I’m certain that the person meant well. However, I want to further discuss the possible reasoning behind three actions, and I don’t think this is something I would be able to do on that platform, without being told that I’m looking to find problems.
It honestly felt a little bit insulting, like a person just looked at me and assumed I needed help. This is essential ableism, as the person would likely not look at any person in the street and the determine that the right things to do would be to randomly give them money. It is clear to me that in order to do this the person had to in some way see me as less than others, to see me as worthy of giving there money to.
While helping people is obviously good, assuming they need help or helping them to make you feel better, is not good. Intent matters, not just the outcome.
In terms of the money, it was donated immediately to charity. While to the individual they tried to do something nice for me, I did not want nor need the money that was given to me.
Think about the person you are actually helping, when you decide if and how you are going to help them.
How do you know when it’s time to unplug? What do you do to make it happen?
I am presuming that this question is asking about unplugging from unnecessary technology, like my phone and laptop, and not necessary technology such as my wheelchair and bed. And I don’t think this is a stretch in the modern world to also interpret this question as unplugging from the internet, and in all honesty, this is not a simple decision for me to make.
I have written before about how the internet provides me with invaluable access to the world as a disabled person in a highly inaccessible world. Therefore, unplugging from the services that provide me with this, is also unplugging from this accessibility. That is not to say I haven’t found this necessary for me to do at times, as we know people on the internet are not always good. I personally prefer to say that people on the internet can be toxic, rather than the internet itself can be toxic. This distinction is important to me.
But I suppose I make the decision about whether I need a break the same way anyone else does, or should. By if talking to one specific person or group of people is beginning to cause me emotional harm. I often make the decision to mute them or the post they are commenting on, this is a frequent occurrence with some reactions to my Facebook campaign. Occasionally I may choose to also mute a relevant group, if a few people within it are causing emotional issues to me, or to mute a person if they are messaging me privately. If I find that many people within a group are frustrating me, and I have no necessity to be in that group, as I do have with being in my local Facebook Group, I may leave the group altogether.
I make an appropriate decision with how to deal with the individuals involved in causing me harm, and I do not blame the whole platform for the actions of individuals within it. It would take a specific unavoidable incident for me to leave a platform altogether for any length of time, and this has rarely happened.
When this does happen, I have a way of locking the apps, so that I cannot go on them without actively choosing to. As I think checking some social media platforms is a habit that is often done without thought. By doing this I then have to make the active choice to be on that platform when I am ready to be present on it again.
All this is to say, you should make your own decisions on the way you choose or not choose to use anything you want to use. And not be influenced by ideas of what you may have been told it means to unplug. Just as is it your choice to decide when to do it, it is your choice to decide how you want to do it.
On Monday and Tuesday last week I wrote about wanting to talk about my experience of Inaccessibility on Monday. However, I then did not have the energy to write this post on Monday or Tuesday. I then in all honesty forgot to write about this due to a very busy week and a rubbish memory. But I’m going to give it a go now.
I had a doctor’s appointment on Monday which was at a different doctors than it usually is. In order to get to this doctors I had to go down a specific road that I had not been down before. This immediately put me on edge as I don’t know how accessible new roads are going to be.
Parked on this road at the corner were a van and a car meaning that I had to go on the road to pass. Meaning that I had to go on the road, over a bump in the road to ensure level access back onto the pavement. Returning up the road I was unable to see where this bump was to ensure my level access. So I ended up crossing the road about halfway down to get to the other side and back up the road.
This was all because of vehicles that parked on pavements without considering those who used the pavements.
Image Description: The picture shows a red vehicle parked next to a pole behind a crossing. Next to this vehicle is another vehicle slightly out of shot. The pavement which both these vehicles are parked on is covered by trees.
On a road I did not know at all this entire situation took me about 20 minutes to deal with after my appointment. Someone passing by was able to help me find a safer place to get off the pavement and on the other side.
I know this may not sound like a big problem especially if you’ve been waiting a week for me to upload this post. But it was very difficult for me to deal with at the time. As I was already nervous about having to go to a new doctors.
New places can be even more nerve-racking than the actual reason I need to go to the place.
Please remember that this may be something I disabled person has to consider when brand new places. This movie reason that they are nervous or do not want to attend an event, have nothing to do with you or the activity. It makes simply be that they’re in a place that they are not used to and this adds anxiety of the day.
My apologies again that this post took a week to write. The downside of having a busy week is that it can sometimes cost you what you wanted to achieve within it.
So today I was out on my own, this is not a specifically rare occurance for me, but it does change the way I can access the world slightly in a way you might not expect.
If I am traveling alone, getting stuck or injured while out is more complex. Therefore as I result, it may be logical to take less risks in order to protect your own safety. This can look strange if you have never seen it before. It can look like seeing a disabled person not take a risk doing something, that you may have seen them do before. This is what happened to me today.
On a side note, while this does not apply to me, it is worth remembering that some peoples disability or chronic illness changes daily, and this may be the reason that you see them do things some day and not others.
So let’s be careful who we judge for what we see them do.
On a somewhat unrelated note, I was also criticised today, because apparently my independence is to great to warrant having issue with and wow, is all I can say to that right now.
I will post more about this later. As I refuse to let this ruin my day. But the post I shared online about it is bellow.
Image Description: A small dog on an empty pavement to the right of frame. My legs can be seen in the left of the picture. There are two large yellow and red smiley face stickers across the screen.
To the person that yelled at us from a car suggesting we take a photo of a bin. I could get round the bin so it wasn’t an obstruction to me. Thanks for the advice. Maybe watch where you’re driving rather than shouting at people in the street though.
To the person that crossed the street to yell and swear at us for taking this picture of our dog. I thought you’d like to see it. We cropped it for our own usage but this uncropped, but sensored version is just for you. Just so you know I’m allowed to post any obstructions i see or pictures for that matter. I set the guidelines of what I’m doing here, and what I post. Not you. Maybe if you have a suggestion for me you could let me know and we can discuss it, like adults. Rather than following me down the street, crossing the road to get in my face to scream at me. And then walk away when we offered for show the photo.
I suppose some might say I should thank you both for giving me something to post, as I wouldn’t have posted today. But honestly I would rather just not be yelled at.
So one complaint that I have had as part of my Facebook campaign got is that I don’t understand what a real problem is. They’re basically saying I’m complaining about nothing.
And yet I’m being tagged in irrelevant posts about dog’s and fire engines.
All I’m saying is to me it doesn’t seem like I’m the one having trouble understanding the severity of the problem.
Everyone else seems to need some perspective on this all, or is it just me.
I access my community through social media. It makes the world so much accessible to me.
I get annoyed when people say social media is blanketly bad because I get so much good from it.
Technology, this blog, Facebook, Tiktok all give me a freedom.
My community doesn’t know me. They think they know me. They know me socially without ableism. With freedom to at least try to be who I want to be in the world.
As a result of the Facebook campaign I had this article written about me and my experiences by my local Manchester Evening News. Please take a look if you like.
Glad to know that someone is listening to me.
Full image description for article and pictures within
The first image and cover photo of article: woman in red socks peeping behind a grey car with pink coat showing with purple bag hanging from chair
Second image: Close up of a girl in a wheelchair wearing black with two purple lanyard around her neck the background of the photo is blurred
Third image: Back of women in wheelchair between a silver car and green hedge the silver is parked blocking a pavement head of a dog is visible in bottom of the frame
Interestingly when sharing this on my local Facebook page everyone was a lot nicer than they have been previously. So that’s definitely food for thought.
My Inaccessible Life 