I would love just to go to spa, to be somewhere warm with good food and lots of dogs. Somewhere I could be completely alone and independent, and at least right now, somewhere I wasn’t disabled.
This is what makes the question so hard for me to answer right now because not only is it reliant on lots of things being different than they currently are. It’s reliant on fundamentally not being me, at least right now.
This is how living with a disability works and disability pride works. it’s not linear. Pride is not linear.
Sometimes it’s really difficult to be happy with who I am and the life I have to lead. And that makes it very difficult to picture my ideal anything, when it all seems really far away from me.
I think my ideal week would just be me being happy, comfortable, not in pain and independent.
Image Description: Straight diagonal lines from top left to bottom right. The colours from top to bottom are red, yellow, white, blue and green, all on a faded black background.
Now I want to say that I will be doing various posts related to Disability Pride over this July which is Disability Pride Month. And I will do my best to share information, but as always I make no promises.
But for now, let’s start with the flag. All of the colours have individual meanings so let’s go through them.
Geen is for sensory disabilities.
Blue represents emotional and psychiatric disabilities.
White stands for non-visible and undiagnosed disabilities.
Gold is for neurodiversity.
Red represents physical disabilities.
The faded black background commemorates and mourns disabled people who’ve died due to ableism, violence, negligence, suicide, rebellion, illness and eugenics. The dark background also represents rage and protest against the mistreatment of the disabled community. According to the creator’s statement, black is also a connection to the pirates’ Jolly Roger flag, a general symbol of rebellion.
As I’ve said I will try to post more about Disability Pride this month. But plans can sometimes be difficult, so don’t blame me if I fail.
And funnily enough I’ve just had my wheelchair fixed. My wheels bring me freedom, I’d be stuck without them. They are the reason I get to be a person.
But the truth is the world isn’t built for people like me. It’s difficult using a wheelchair, because of the inaccessibility around me. Being in a wheelchair takes a lot of effort and planning just to get out of the house some days. Memorising routes and hoping nothing is going to block them. Not being able to go to concerts and have the same experiences as everyone else.
But without a wheelchair I wouldn’t even have the freedom I do now. Yet growing up as was told I needed to do as much as possible, to not become “wheelchair shaped”. Despite this being my eventuality and it causing a considerable amount of discomfort to attempt to delay it.
Using a wheelchair isn’t bad. Not walking isn’t bad. Mobility aids and physio need to be given for the best outcome of the individual, and not simply to push someone towards the societal norms that can actually be damaging to them.
Wheelchairs are not bad. Mine is a life saver
Image Description: This picture shows myself facing the camera in my wheelchair with Imogen Ava Daly sat on my right and Bella sat on my left. Both dogs are looking at the camera.
Image Description: This picture is art by @Colourblind_Zebr. It’s shows a purple manual wheelchair with the text “My wheelchair is my FREEDOM not my PRISON”, with freedom and prison written in rainbow.
Image Description: This picture shows a picture of me slightly in the distance, on an angle facing left but looking towards the camera. Bella is stood in front of me, and Imogen is stood behind me with her front paws on my knee. We are all looking at the camera.
I got told I needed to be more positive in my opinion of disability, when stating that I don’t think it’s a positive to wish someone could walk.
I understand that people have their own opinions and situations they’ve been through. But this post stated that everyone who can’t walk wants to walk.
Really this isn’t about being able to walk but it is about being disabled and wishing you weren’t. While we all wish we could change things sometimes, generally I don’t wish that I wasn’t disabled or that I could walk. I just wish I didn’t face the ablesim of society.
I was told today that believing this is negative in some way. When I said that suggesting all disabled people don’t want to be disabled is the same as suggesting someone shouldn’t want to be black because it’s easier not to be. This was apparently too much for the person I was talking to.
What bugs me here is that as a minority disabled people are not given the same respect to want to exist, even by other disabled people, than other minorities. To suggest that we should want that seems a step to far for some people.
If you had to give up one word that you use regularly, what would it be?
I spend a lot of my life apologies for things that someone doesn’t need to apologise for. Sometimes it’s just for existing as me.
It’s definitely some form of internalised ableism that I haven’t managed to let go of just yet. At this point in my life I’m not sure if I ever will.
But I know that I should. Logically I know I need to stop apologising for just being. But knowing something and doing something can be two different things.
So not being able to say it would probably help me in the long run.
I really like this quote as I think it speaks well to the complex emotions and practicalities of what it means to be disabled in society today.
Pride, while it means well, can be difficult to feel when you live in a world that tells you you’re wrong is so many ways and so many times.
We deserve to recognise these feelings and the hardships of the world we are faced with. To feel our feelings, whatever they may be without any additional guilt.
Disability Pride Month is held across the month of July. While it is often not widely celebrated and some within the community have mixed feelings about it. I thought I would take this opportunity to share some things about Disability over the month. I’m going to predominantly be sharing information and insights that I personally relate to. But I will aim to include other information as well.
Below is a picture of the New and updated Disability Pride Flag.
This flag was updated from the original design with zigzaged lines and sharper colours to straighter lines and more muted colours in order to make it more accessible.
In order of appearance from top to bottom, the meaning behind the colours are as follows:
💚Green is for sensory disabilities 🩵Blue represents emotional and psychiatric disabilities 🤍White stands for non-visible and undiagnosed disabilities 💛Gold is for neurodiversity ❤️Red represents physical disabilities.
The stripes are displayed on a faded charcoal black background which commemorates and mourns disabled people who’ve died due to ableism, violence, negligence, suicide, rebellion, illness and eugenics.
The dark background also represents rage and protest against the mistreatment of the disabled community.
According to the creator’s statement, black is also a connection to the pirates’ Jolly Roger flag, a general symbol of rebellion.
Happy Pride x
Image Description: A photo of the updated Disability Pride Flag, which consists of thick lines of muted colours diagonally from left to right, across a black background. The colours appear in the order, Green, Blue, White, Yellow and Red.
My Inaccessible Life 