If you actually read my blog regularly, which I thank you very much for by the way. Then you’ll notice I try to post something daily, occasionally though I will admit that I have backdated a post or two. But you may also have noticed that some of posts have more substance than others.
This is because I have more motivation to write on some days than others. But I force myself to write something, anything, almost daily. And yes writing this post about writing posts is me trying to write something with zero motivation or idea what to write about.
I do this because despite how difficult I find it write some says writing is freedom to me. Writing sometimes feels like the only outlet I have in life, the only level playing field that I have.
I love to write. I feel sometimes that I need to write, and yet sometimes that I can’t write. So writing something daily, is better than writing nothing. There was a time when I wrote nothing, and it was a very emotionally dark time in my life. At least it’s putting words to paper, or screen to be more accurate.
From what I’ve read in the writers groups I’m in, I suppose you could say I have a major case of writers block. I want to write so badly, I have all the ideas. But I often lack the motivation to work on my ideas, or worse the physical and/or emotional energy.
When I do have the motivation but I lack the energy, I feel like my body has yet again betrayed me, in the only thing I feel I’m supposed to be good at.
I’m disabled after all.
But every word, every sentence, every post is me trying. Trying not to let the doubts or my body win. Trying to do something that I enjoy, even when I’m not enjoying it.
My Inaccessible Life 