Tag: Pads

When you think someone should get it and they don’t

On By Katy DalyIn My Disability TruthLeave a comment

I’m incontinent,

If I had to pick a part of my disability that makes me the most uncomfortable, I would say this is it. So for that reason I try to be as open as possible about it, to not let it win.

Now having grown up disabled, this lovely part of our soecity called exclusion, pushes me to be in the same circles as many other disabled people. A lot of people think that this is actually inclusion, but from experience they don’t actually care what disabled children have in common, the fact there disabled is enough. And pushing is together is easier than creating more accessible inclusive spaces where we just get to be, but now I’m getting a little disstracted here.

As a result of this exclusion, I happen to know a lot of disabled people, simply because they are disabled. Now while this can sometimes be useful, as we have a lot of shared experiences, not everything about us or what we believe is the same, simply because we are disabled. So this can make for some interesting friendships to say to least.

Some of these friends are also incontinent, and this is something that I personally am thankful for that we have in common, due to how I still emotionally struggle with my incontience. Anyway, I was with one of my friends the other day, who pointed out that as a result of incontinece there was a certain smell in the area. Now where she this could have come from many people, but I’m pretty sure it was me. Lets just say she wasn’t very nice about it,

I hope the way I’ve explained this makes sense as I’m still pretty upset by it so I may have been vague, let me know if it doesn’t.

What I don’t understand is no matter who was responsible for the smell, why they had to make a big deal about it.

It’s not like anyone is incontinent by choice, or making a smell by choice, and it could just so easily be them. I think that’s the part that really gets me, I’ve known it to be them before and I have never said anything. Normally I don’t care about things like this, but given who they are and the specifics of the issue, there reaction is really bothering me.

I guess just because you have a certain issue, doesn’t mean you will have respect and understanding for people who also have that issue.

Disability and Insecurity.

On By Katy DalyIn My Disability TruthLeave a comment
Image Description: Myself tilted back in my electric wheelchair under a brown electric blanket facing the camera. My dog, Bella a small brown-haired caviler King Charles dog is sitting on my knee, looking at the camera with her tounge sticking out. In my left hand I am holding my catheter, which is emptying into a bottle you can also see on my knee. My left hand is holding my phone.

This is a photo taken of my me and one of my little girls (my dogs) the other day. I find it such a cute photo the way she is looking at the camera and her tounge is sticking out, melts my heart.

I did not realise until after the photo was taken thar you could see me quite clearly emptying my catheter into a bottle in the photo. No comments on the colour of my urine please, hydration has been a life long issue for me, mainly due to my own issues with excepting my incontinence.

My incontinence is a part of my disability that I have always struggled with. I have no doubt that this is due to societies view of incontinence. I struggled so much with this that I had several minor procedures years ago in order to avoid avoid having any type of permanent catheter in. Eventually I had to put my medical needs over my own social anxiety and have one though, and it was the best decision.

But photos like this still make me nervous. Being open about my incontinence still makes me nervous. This may come as a shock to those who know me, and to those I am open about my incontinence with. When I talk about my incontinence I do so abstractly, as if I’m not even a part of my own experiences with it.

I’m trying to get better at it though because I believe incontinence is nothing to be ashamed of. But sometimes it’s hard to live by the things we believe. But I’m trying to do better, this photo is a way of me trying to do better.

Image Description: Myself laying in bed hugging my dog Bella, she is curled on my shoulder. My pad is visible slightly below my arm in-between the blanket over me and the pillow behind me.

Here’s another photo from about a year or so ago, again with my little girl. In this photo my pad is visible. I actually didn’t realise that anything I might not want the world to see was showing in this photo until after I shared it. While I ended up leaving the photo up, it did cause me a great deal of anxiety at the time. If this was a photo of just me and not me and her I would have certainly removed it.