Tag: Music

Probably a dancer.

On By Katy DalyIn My Disability Truth, Writing PromptsLeave a comment

When you were five, what did you want to be when you grew up?

I’ll be honest I can’t completely remember, but at that age I probably wanted to dance, if I’m honest I still do. For awhile I did wheelchair dancing, but I’ve been unable to find a competitive group for adults, so I haven’t done it in years, and that makes me sad honest.

I love dance.

It’s just my luck that I’d enjoy something so much that doesn’t work in the way people expect when you’re in a wheelchair. Even when I’ve found dancers in wheelchairs, they’ve almost always been in manual wheelchairs and had a lot more movement than me.

Moral of that story is dancing doesn’t really work for me.

Concerts and shows.

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I’m looking to go to another show. I recognise the privileged position I am in, that I can consider going to shows. That I have the money, time and the physical health and ability to do so. But every single time I do this I’m reminded of how disabled I am.

The extra steps I have to take, to get one of the limited number of wheelchair spaces at at a venue, this venue has four. And not knowing which of these steps this specific venue wants me to take. 

I can’t just buy the ticket on generally sale. I have to first know if the venue is accessible, and then if I need to buy another ticket or if the person who’s support I need at concerts is able to get a companion ticket. I then need to know whether the ticket needs to be bought from the venue website or from the standard ticket sale site.

I don’t want less steps, I want the same amount of steps. This is accessibility.

Now there are many reasons that concerts are inaccessibility to me. So once I’ve bought a ticket, doesn’t mean I’ll have a great time when I go. It feels like my disability is every, like it touches everything, and it does. Even even concerts. Even music.

My freedom is yet again tainted by my disability. More, by the inaccessibility of the world around me.

But I keep trying, I’m going to do my best to keep trying, to go to the show. To be an active part of the world around me. And not just feel stuck and forced to live in it. Concerts and shows help me with this, if they go well. If the experience goes well that is, if it goes badly the opposite happens. But I can but try.

Listening to music.

On By Katy DalyIn Writing PromptsLeave a comment

What activities do you lose yourself in?

I could listen to music all day ever day. It’s a major form of escapism for me. The only one I can partake in when the fatigue hits.

While I can’t say I have a favourite song, I love music to much just to pick one song. I can say that my current go to song is linked below.

Music is amazing. But as much as I don’t like silence, if I want to focus on what I’m doing then I have to have tv on rather than music. If I have music on I will just get too lost in the lyrics to be focusing on what I’m supposed to be focusing on.

So if I’m ever ignoring you, when I’m listening to music, know that I’m not doing it on purpose. I’ve just got lost in a song or two.

What’s your current go to song?

5 things

On By Katy DalyIn Writing PromptsLeave a comment

List five things you do for fun.

  • Sleep
  • Play with the dogs
  • Write
  • Watch TV
  • Listen to music

I hope you’re able to write this list.

Remember it doesn’t matter what you for fun, just that you have something that you do for fun. Whatever that is, I’ve hope you managed to do that today.

The future, I think.

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Do you spend more time thinking about the future or the past? Why?

I think the future feels so out of my control, that I push myself so hard to not thinking about it, that it is all I end up thinking about it.

I know what I want out of life, but reaching it feels impossible. I feeling likes there’s nothing I can do about where I am a lot of the time. That I’m stuck.

So I’m stuck thinking about where I might one day be, hoping it is better then where I am now, but in the seemingly already determined reality that at won’t be. Well at least it’s not worse that where I am now, my imagined future.

It’s easier to live in the hope of the future than the inertia of the present.

Try listening to Inertia by AJR if you understand where I’m coming from. It’s an amazing song that explains it well.

It’s not compensation if I can’t use it.

On By Katy DalyIn Blog, My Disability TruthLeave a comment

So you know the post I shared with the petition in, this petition: Make Viewing Platforms Optional for Disabled Concert Attendees

I’ve been offered free tickets to a show at the venue and been told that I can use an area next to where I was, that’s inaccessible to me due to steps.

This reminds me of the time that I called a hairdressers to find out if they were accessible, they told me they were, and when I got there, they had a step to get in. Their answer was that once I got in, they were completely accessible and willing to do my hair and my wheelchair. What did they give me as compensation? Vouchers for that hairdressers. So this is actually not the first time this has happened to me.

It’s not adequate compensation if I can’t use the tickets myself. I have said I will only accept the tickets if I can go on the main floor of the venue. Which I’m assured has no steps so there should be no reason I can’t use it. We’ll see what happens I guess, but I’m not convinced I’ll be going there again.

Please sign the petition linked in the beginning of the post. To make it the disabled persons choice whether or not they use so called accessible areas in a venue.

Can you sign this petition for me?

On By Katy DalyIn Blog, My Disability TruthLeave a comment

Make Viewing Platforms Optional for Disabled Concert Attendees

So you’ve all by now read my concert related posts. And without putting to much of an emphasis on it, I’m sick of it.

I’m sick of being forced in accessiblity areas that I don’t think I even need to be in, and then I can’t even see once I’m in them.

If you have any questions about my concert experiences please ask. So much has happened and its been so rough that I find it hard just to write about it. But it’s easier to answer to answer questions.

This goes against the UN Rights of Disabled People. As I’m not getting the same experience as non-disabled people.

I understand why these areas exist for some disabled people, it’s being forced to go in them when you’re disabled and don’t need them that I don’t like.

So can you please sign this petition if you agree with me.

And even share it maybe, if you’re not sure if you agree or not. That way someone that agrees might see it.

It might not do a lot, but it makes me feel like I’m doing something.

Make Viewing Platforms Optional for Disabled Concert Attendees

The worst best night of my life.

On By Katy DalyIn BlogLeave a comment

I’m lay in bed after attending another concert. One I’ve really been looking forward to, and I feel like being disabled ruined it. But logically I know that’s just my internalised ableism talking.

If you read my last post you’ll know that concerts are a complex task for me to begin with. And then to have that seemingly be all for nothing, is just hard.

I can’t say I regret going. But I can say the experience was ruined by supposedly necessary accommodations.

This was my view due to those accommodations.

Image Description: a crowd at a concert seen through bars, this stage is visible at the back of the crowd. There are lights by the stage and throughout the photo.

Not for the first time, when attending a concert, did the accessibility here make me wish that I wasn’t disabled. It’s definitely another venue I will not be going to again

And well there is more I can say and more I should say on all of this. I honestly can’t think too much about this right now without getting upset. So I plan to return to this in the future, when I can emotionally process, just how this really felt.

But for now here’s a picture of my cat, who normally sleeps on my bed, but does not cuddle with me like this. All I can think is they must know I’m upset, we don’t deserve animals.

Image Description: a grey and white cat curled up on me my black jumper is also visible underneath the cat. Part of my head is visible to the left of the frame. Part of a pride flag and an asexual flag can also be seen on the wall behind me.

If you find yourself willing and able , could you check out this petition and sign if you agree.

Again, I’m happy to explain the whole situation, when I feel more emotionally stable and able to do so. I’m sorry for being so brief it’s just been a hard night.

How much does a concert cost?

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The obvious starts in point for answering this question, is the price of the tickets plus any transaction fees. Then you’ve got to factor in your travel plus overnight stay if relevant. As well as things like food and drink, not forgetting the most important part of the concert or the concert itself, the merchandise.

But of course, it would be too simple for me to be talking about money when I say cost. What I’m actually talking about here is what someone may have to give up in order to go to a concert.

If the idea of having to give something up other than your money and time to go to a concert, doesn’t on its face, seem to make a lot of sense. then honestly, you’re lucky, and probably not disabled.

Now I’m not saying that everybody that goes to a concert has to give up things in order to go, simply that some people do. That I do.

I’ve recently been fortunate enough to be able to go to more concerts than I ever thought possible for me to attend. as you may know if you’ve been reading my blog, not on my experiences with these concerts have been perfect, but still in most cases I’m glad I went. That doesn’t however mean that I have never had to give up anything in order to go to these concerts. When I really think about it, actually, I have to give up a lot.

Here is a list of a few that come to mind as I write this:

1. The most obvious one is my Care. I have to cancel it and spend the night without getting changed. In a previous post I wrote about doing this for someone else but the obviously for concerts I make the decision for myself and my enjoyment. Without being to graphic, this does not only mean that I am in the same clothes, but also that I’m not able to clean personal areas for a period of 24 hours at least. This is I think the hardest thing that I have to give up in order to go to concerts. But honestly with my life, as it currently is there is no other way for me to go.

2. I have to spend an extended period in my wheelchair. While I do this when necessary it’s not good for me and I shouldn’t really do it at all.

3. The view I wanted. I don’t have the option that others have in a freestanding concert to get their hours early and into a good view. The majority of venues are going to have me in a separate area due to my disability, they claim it’s for my own safety but I disagree. I have said a lot more about this in the past.

There’s more that I can’t think of right now I’m sure. But the point of this post is to say that something that might seem as simply as going to a concert, is often more difficult when you’re disabled.

I’m still glad I’m doing it, in fact I’m going to one I’ve been really wanting to go to tonight. But it isn’t always easy.

I’m going to be sore by the moment. And probably still upset about where I will end up sitting. But I get to see them, and hear there music live. So I’m going to try and focus on that and have a great time.

Music.

On By Katy DalyIn Writing PromptsLeave a comment

What would your life be like without music?

I have something called Maladaptive Daydreaming, you can find out more about that by clicking on this link. But it is essential very vivid and uncontrollable dark Daydreaming.

A major trigger within the Maladaptive Daydreaming community is music, and this is certainly the case for me.

So without music, I wouldn’t have access to all the worlds around me. I wouldn’t have freedom from my own world.

Not to be too blunt but music saved my life.