Tag: Money

The email I don’t want to reply to.

On By Katy DalyIn My Disability TruthLeave a comment

I’m actually sat here writing this post to avoid replying to the email just that little bit more. That’s how much I really don’t want to do it.

It’s a response to a previous email about something called Disability Related Expenses, which is essentially extra payments I have to make because of my disability. It’s part of what I and other disabled people have referred to as the disability tax, but it’s a lot more official. And I really have to prove everything I say, in order to get my payments towards my care lowered.

While I abstractly understand why I have to prove these costs, because I simply can’t just claim I pay for something that I don’t. In practice it’s something I hate doing.

Proving my disability just makes me feel very disabled. It makes me feel judged. Like they think I’m lying in some way that I know I’m absolutely not lying. Like they’re waiting for who I am to trip me up. To judge whether I’m disabled enough to not have to pay for care that I obviously need.

And really that’s the hard part, the fact this is all about a payment for something I need but don’t want. And as someone who doesn’t earn, it’s not something I think I should have to pay for in any way. But yet I do.

I need to write this email. I need to get it done. I just really really do not want to.

Society really is the worst part about me being disabled.

Working for free on benefits

On By Katy DalyIn Blog, My Disability TruthLeave a comment

Image if your worked stopped paying you as soon as you earned what someone else decided was enough for you to live on.

You then had to live off your savings until someone else decided that you didn’t have enough money to live on so you should be paid again.

All the while you were still working.

This is the reality for many disabled people.

While if you’re lucky you’re on one of the few disability benefits that aren’t means tested, most are.

Benefits are the only source of income some disabled people have. Even if they are able to work, despite there conditions and the ableism they face in society. They still need the benefits to pay for the disability tax. The increased cost of living in society as a disabled person.

And yet if you what someone else seems is too much money, most if not all of your income is taken from you.

I can’t really travel.

On By Katy DalyIn Blog, My Disability Truth6 Comments

What are your future travel plans?

Yes for the reasons you’re thinking of, but also not really for those reasons.

Let’s just say that money can solve most problems and if you really don’t believe that then you’re not paying attention to how privileged financially you are. Money could definitely solve the problem with travel for me. While much of the world is inaccessible, many of those inaccessibilities can be overcome with money.

Money the world does not want me to have because it does not want me to make a living for myself and have to see people like me in the real world. Money the world does not want me to have because I would not confirm to the useless disabled person they believe I should be. Money they’re able to keep from me.

Society wants me to be poor, and so I cannot travel. It is that simple.

That said, I would love to go to Vegas.

I know I said I was going to write much and I think I’m still going to keep this short and sweet but this one was to good not to answer

Wealth is relative.

On By Katy DalyIn My Disability Truth2 Comments

I spend a lot of time just scrolling on various internet platforms, and if there’s one thing I’ve learnt, it’s that wealth is relative.

Seeing people complain about the price of things they’ve inquired about, that I don’t even have the money to look into, is a wild experience. The price of getting a swimming pool in your garden has gone up, oh I feel so bad for you.

Sorry, I know this is a very cynical post. And while I’m a strong believer in people’s right to do whatever they want with their money, sometimes the reality of this is just difficult to witness.

I think it’s because I know that society is going to keep me poor. Don’t get me wrong I live comfortably, but I am never going to have the kind of disposable money needed for a pool. I know those that do have the money have worked hard for it, and they deserve it. But I’m not even getting the chance to work hard to change my situation. And sometimes that just gets to me.

I know compared to some I have a lot of money, but compared to others I know, I have nothing. And I feel like I’m constantly torn between it could be worse and why isn’t it better.

I don’t know where I was really going with this post, as it goes against what I believe to differ that people couldn’t talk about there problems just because it could be worse. I guess I’m just airing my own problems and that’s that.

If it wasn’t obvious, if I win the lottery, which I do not play, I will be getting a pool, or a jacuzzi.

Some people aren’t disabled they can just do things

On By Katy DalyIn My Disability TruthLeave a comment

I said this the other day, and someone felt the need to say they also can’t do things because they don’t have a lot of money, but that’s not the same thing.

We were talking about going on holiday, which they are able to do every so often and by holiday I mean going abroad.

They seemed insulted I suggested that this was something I would never be able to do as a disabled person, for several reasons including money. They had to insist that they also had money problems, which is a fair statement, but they still have the money to go on holiday.

This is something that isn’t even on my radar as a possibility. It’s far more complex as a disabled person, and costs money I don’t have and am unable to earn due to my disability.

If someone is telling you something is hard for them, it’s not your job to say it would also be difficult for you. This doesn’t mean you can’t share your own story to sympathise with them and show understanding, but this is not the same as going, what about me.

My chair died.

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The problem with relying on people and technology is things can simple go wrong and there’s nothing you can do about it.

Yesterday my wheelchair died when I was miles away from home. It died because it hadn’t been plugged in the night before. Even though I am not the person that plugs it in at night, this is of course my fault because I should have checked they had done it. It’s just one of those things that usually gets done correctly and so I forget that I should check on it. To be fair they had plugged it in just not switched it on at the wall.

Either way it didn’t charge and I was stuck. Which I am actually somewhat relieved about because yesterday I wasn’t sure if my chair was broken and that’s why I was stuck. It having no battery is an easy problem to deal with.

The only way for me to get home then was paying £145 in a taxi. As when my chair has no power everything that was previously accessible to me, like trains, my planned way to get home, becomes inaccessible. And because I can’t just get into any vehicle, no one could come and pick me up, so a taxi was the only option.

Now taxis have to be up there with the least accessible mode of transport for me, alongside other cars. While it is possible to find accessible taxis, like I did yesterday. This can be very difficult to do.

Many taxis say they’re wheelchair accessible but will only take people who can get out of there wheelchair and fold it into the boot. I cannot do this. So for me this is not a wheelchair accessible taxis. I have even had taxis come and then refuse me, despite specifying before hand that I wouldn’t be able to do this. But you know how people love to blame you when they don’t listen.

Accessibly means different things to different people and companies.

Emergencies happen, things go wrong and get forgotten. But when they go wrong with my chair it’s honestly terrifying.

Money.

On By Katy DalyIn BlogLeave a comment

So money is tight but I have got in very good at making it work by now.

Many people would say that as I am on benefits this is how it should be. Benefits are supposed to buy you the essentials and not keep you comfortable. Those in charge of the benefits system will tell you that this is an intentional setup to motivate people to get into work. But this doesn’t consider people who can’t just go out and look for work to improve their situation.

To prove a point to those who could get a job to provide their income, those of us who can’t are made to suffer.

I would love to work. I have tried to get into work. But an ableist society, or my disabilty, depending on how I’m feeling about myself in the moment, have made this incredibly difficult if not impossible for me to do.

Society doesn’t want disabled people to be included. An how we are judged for being on benefits is a prime example of this. If we are able to brake free from the box that they want us in, to get a job and make money. Most of our benefits are taken from us at a rate that isn’t really proportionate to the cost of living in the world.

The UK does allow us to keep one benefits as disabled people, even if we find employment. But this doesn’t cover the deficit of disability, the disability tax, the reality of being disabled.

Though I started writing this post a few days ago, in relates to the topic I choose to write about when fulfilling yesterdays writing prompt. You can read that here.

It focuses on a specific area of the disability tax, food. Food often costs more money when you’re disabled because of the type of food that is accessible to a disabled.

Often ready-made food is needed over the cheaper ingredients that can be bought by some to make the meal for yourself. For me, this plays out in a reliance on microwave meals and takeaways.

Money is more of a balancing act when you’re disabled. You’re only allowed a small amount of it before you’ll be penalised for having it. Yet the things you need, the help you need; a cleaner, ready-made food, taxis, to name a few that apply to me, cost more money.

It doesn’t really make sense when you think about it that way. But I’m sure many people will tell you that things cost more when you have less money. But it definitely has a different impact, and sometimes a bigger impact when you’re disabled.

I hate that my independence isn’t always affordable.

There’s something I love about takeaways food.

On By Katy DalyIn My Disability Truth, Writing PromptsLeave a comment

What is your favorite restaurant?

Takeaways can actually be an accessibility tool.

A lot of people see things that make doing something easy as promoting laziness, but this just isn’t the case. I don’t believe that laziness exists and if you can do something in a way that is easier for you, you absolutely should. As someone who can’t cook, takeaways are how I cook. They’re both how I get to decide my own food, and contribute to the cooking in the house.

For me takeaways are an accessibility tool, though I love takeaways, even though I can’t always afford to have them. This can be seen as part of what is called as the disability tax, that is the extra money disabled people pay to have to live in such an inaccessible society.

For me it’s either takeaways, microwave meals or very basic oven meals. As I can not cook at all, and the person I live with has limited ability to do so. While society will tell you it’s easier and cheaper to home cook a meal, it’s not always easier (or possible) so the cheaper option isn’t always an option.

It’s also worth remembering the other areas of inaccessibility I face, such as my wheelchair or reliance on carers, that mean I don’t often go out to eat at restaurants. If I’m out I will eat, but I don’t think I’ve ever gone out to eat apart from with friends and family. So I’m answering this question from the perspective of takeaways rather than restaurants specifically, if that wasn’t obvious before.

My favourite takeaway has to be Mcdonalds I think. I like to keep it simple. But I also love a good subway. Something like Indian or Chinese is saved for special occasions like birthdays.

Things that are inaccessible to you if you rely on benefits.

On By Katy DalyIn BlogLeave a comment

Anyone reading this who thinks that people choose to be on benefits can keep their opinion to yourself.

I will probably always rely on benefits, this has something that has taken me a lot of time to come to terms with, and I’m still working on it honestly. I have tried to get a job, but despite my qualifications my disability seems to be a massive barrier that I’m not sure I will ever overcome. Even if I were to get a job there would be certain benefits I would still receive and rely on. But that’s not the point of this post.

I write this post, with a little shame towards the jealousy I feel that fuels it. As I’m unable to get a job, there are many things in life that will remain inaccessible to me.

I will not be able to buy my home.

I will not be able to decorate the home I do have in a way I actually like.

I am unlikely to be able to go on holiday.

Or have any experiences that cost money.

Essentially being unable to work means I will always be on a low income and then have to live by that income.

Though I don’t like it, I understand the economic motivations behind this. The fear would be that if you gave people a comfortable life that they could enjoy on benefits, that no one would want to work. Therefore working is a motivator for a more enjoyable life.

And while I don’t feel that this is the case, even if it were true, it doesn’t consider those who are unable to work. Therefore those who are unable to improve there life in any way.

Now don’t get me wrong, my life isn’t bad. And I am relatively comfortable. But I am frustrated by the fact I am stuck in this life and unable to improve it because working is inaccessible to me.

I’ve talked a lot about this recently.

On By Katy DalyIn Blog, Writing PromptsLeave a comment

What would you do if you won the lottery?

I think it’s something that everyone talks about from time to time. Even when you know it’s never going to happen, it’s good to dream.

But I don’t even play the lottery, I don’t really have the money to waste, so I’m never going to win am I.

But let’s still give the question a go.

I used to say that I would by an accessible camper van. So I could live somewhere that was completely accessible to me, travel where I wanted, and see family. So that I could stay somewhere else without having to be uncomfortable. I even used to say that I would pay for carers to be on call 24/7 and follow me around in there own camper van.

And while this idea is nice, and maybe something I would do if I won a lot of money, I don’t think it’s where I would start if I won the lottery any more.

I would start with doing up the flat I live in now. Making it look nice and a little more lived in than it is.

I would then buy some more up to date tech. A good computer, a good phone things like that.

I would then stock up the house, get some better appliances than I currently have. I would make sure rent and bills are paid well in advance if possible so I wouldn’t need to worry about them.

Then a holiday, abroad. Somewhere hot maybe, or somewhere I’ve always wanted to go, Las Vagas, maybe. Or I’ve always wanted to go on a cruise, that would be fun. Or even just to say somewhere in a posh hotel.

I would also love to try a spa, get a new tattoo, get my hair done professionally. Those types of things. Maybe I could even get a jacuzzi in the garden with a hoist so I could use it.

Maybe then a car, and learn to drive.

What I find interesting about what I would do if I won the lottery, is I would just live a more accessible life. I would just like to explore the world a bit L, and live in little more comfort.

I don’t think that makes me different from many people. It’s just the money might be spent a little differently in order to active it.

It is likely to cost me a lot more to live a comfortably life, because of my disability. Life is more expensive when you’re disabled. Added to this is it is harder to earn money, and when it’s harder to earn money, you have less of it, which makes things altogether more expensive. And the inaccessibility of the world costs money to solve.

Life is just altogether more expensive when you’re disabled. People including the government somewhat recognise this, but no one who doesn’t live this life, truly understands the cost of disability.