So I spent the weekend with my boyfriend, with an interim visit home to walk the dogs and to receive personal care. And with his permission, I’m going to explore the Inaccessibility and the Accessibility with adaptations of staying with him, and by extension anywhere that isn’t my home.

It’s honestly difficult to list every adaptation an element of accessibility I implement to stay somewhere other than my home. I’m just so used to do it without thinking. So I’m going to cover a few of the adaptions of the way I adapt while staying out of my home. But the chances are I will miss some, still, I’ll do my best.

In order to stay anywhere other than my own home I have to spend the night in my wheelchair. That’s the first adaptation. While it’s not particularly comfortable, it’s my most comfortable option. My chair tilts which does help comfort wise, and my chair is the second most comfortable position I could be in outside of my bed. So it logically makes sense that I’m somewhat comfortable staying in it.

The second adoptions I make to sleep somewhere other than my home is to go without my personal care. This can make me incredibly uncomfortable or it can be barely noticeable depending on what state I’m in, without being to personal about it. This is something I’ve done on several occasions, and while I can’t say always gladly I can say they’ve been worth it. But just think for a second is this something you would be willing to do to do what was necessary or something you enjoy? It’s become the norm for me. I’m almost used to it.

Another adaptation I make is not changing my clothes. While this would be in someway possible, it would require help and would not be completely possible anyway.

This leads me to another adaptation I have to make, accepting help. This has always been a struggle for me, despite how much of it I need. To accept the help of others when I need it. I accept the help of my family and carers, reluctantly, but as a necessity. I do it. That said I still do struggle even with taking this help. And accepting the help of others in general is still very difficult for me.

Staying with the person I stayed with meant that I needed there help to plug in my chair. And also that I had to remember to bring my chair charger which I thankfully did. Though they were more than willing to do this one small thing for me, it still felt like a big problem. I still worried I would get in the way.

I think this in part my biggest problem with accepting things from others. I get used to my help coming from certain places and certain people. Changing this feels like I’m somehow putting myself in the way.

These are just a few of the small adaptations I had to spend a night or two away from home. To live with some sort of freedom from my care and I suppose my disability. And I can say with confidence that the specific time I stayed away from home that inspired me to write this, was definitely worth the sacrifices I make.