Tag: Inclusion

There’s something I love about takeaways food.

On By Katy DalyIn My Disability Truth, Writing PromptsLeave a comment

What is your favorite restaurant?

Takeaways can actually be an accessibility tool.

A lot of people see things that make doing something easy as promoting laziness, but this just isn’t the case. I don’t believe that laziness exists and if you can do something in a way that is easier for you, you absolutely should. As someone who can’t cook, takeaways are how I cook. They’re both how I get to decide my own food, and contribute to the cooking in the house.

For me takeaways are an accessibility tool, though I love takeaways, even though I can’t always afford to have them. This can be seen as part of what is called as the disability tax, that is the extra money disabled people pay to have to live in such an inaccessible society.

For me it’s either takeaways, microwave meals or very basic oven meals. As I can not cook at all, and the person I live with has limited ability to do so. While society will tell you it’s easier and cheaper to home cook a meal, it’s not always easier (or possible) so the cheaper option isn’t always an option.

It’s also worth remembering the other areas of inaccessibility I face, such as my wheelchair or reliance on carers, that mean I don’t often go out to eat at restaurants. If I’m out I will eat, but I don’t think I’ve ever gone out to eat apart from with friends and family. So I’m answering this question from the perspective of takeaways rather than restaurants specifically, if that wasn’t obvious before.

My favourite takeaway has to be Mcdonalds I think. I like to keep it simple. But I also love a good subway. Something like Indian or Chinese is saved for special occasions like birthdays.

Concert drama.

On By Katy DalyIn BlogLeave a comment

I know I’m lucky to have problems with going to concerts as a disabled person. As that means I’m in the position to both financially and physically to be able to try and figure out how to get myself to a concert. But in the accessible world that we live in this doesn’t make it easy.

One of the caveats of going to a concert if you are disabled person is too alert the venue that you will be going to that you are disabled. But this is not a straightforward as it seems.

There is often unlimited number of spaces for those in wheelchairs or with other disabilities. Sometimes, depending on the venue, this can actually make sense. But more often than not numbers are limited to make things easier for a venue. To ensure that they take a box in the best way for them, rather for concertgoers.

What really bothers me personally is the fact that venues will not allow myself to go in the general admission area when it is accessible to me. They simply say no. I am a health and safety risk.

They don’t actually care about my health and safety or anyone else’s health and safety. They simply do not want to get into trouble if someone were to hurt themselves on my wheelchair. Honestly, that feels like a them problem. But they insist on it making it a me problem.

This is even harder when I don’t feel disabled despite how disabled I may look. I don’t want to go in the special area. I’d rather be in the general admission area and not be able to see then be in the special area with a perfect view. I want the proper concert experience and I think that I deserve that. I don’t think it’s too much to ask for. Don’t even get me started on the special treatment that some disabled concert viewers believe they deserve. I’m not talking about the separate area. I understand why some people might need that. That’s why I think it should be an option, not a necessity. But someone interrupted perfect view, as if that is realistic of a concert. I’m not just really annoys me.

The process of getting accessibility arrangements for a concert can feel like you’re asking of venues permission to attend. Something that disabled would have to do.

For this reason and for the idIocracy of the system, I tried to stay out of the finer details of organising my access to concerts. I really hate it. I know that I’m going to get too angry at the whole thing and not be able to deal with it properly and sensibly.

Concerts are a polarised experience for me. They even make me feel completely included and part of society in a way I don’t feel anywhere else. or extremely disabled, very in the way as I don’t belong there at all. There seems to be no middle ground. And yet I keep going because I want the good experiences. I deserve the good experiences, I think.

As I write this post there is a chance I may not be able to go to an upcoming concert that I already have tickets and VIP meet and greet for. This is due to aforementioned bizarre system of accessibility. I’m honestly trying not to think about it because I really want to go to this concert. And I’ll be heartbroken if I can’t.

Anyone reading this that may think disabled people get things for free because of schemes like companion tickets. If you’d rather deal with the things I have to deal with in order to get the free tickets you’d be welcome. I would swap in heartbeat. I would trade all cheaper tickets I’ve ever ever got just to attend concerts as a normal person. I just want to sing and dance.

People.

On By Katy DalyIn Blog, My Disability TruthLeave a comment

I can’t avoid them forever and I know that, when I’m with them I don’t even want to.

But when I’m on my own, thinking about meeting with people, leaving the house just seems like to much. It’s always worth it in the end, and locally I know that, but it doesn’t make it easy.

I don’t know if this anxiety comes from growing up disabled, or if it would just be a part of me anyway. It’s impossible to know having grown up disabled, which parts of me or my experiences would be different if I wasn’t disabled. But I suspect or maybe some part of me hopes, that it would be.

Growing up in the world, that is an accessible to you, can often feel like you’re growing up in the world that was made specifically to be inaccessible to you. Your existence in that world is nothing more than an annoyance to those around you. That’s a hard thing to deal with every day of your life for the rest of your life. It’s one of those feelings, that’s always there, even though it’s usually in the background and I can ignore it. but I do have a feeling that the residual existence of this feeling is what causes the anxiety that I’m left dealing with at the moment.

Either way I’m stuck what I have now. And let’s just say that’s a dislike of being around people, and sometimes even leaving the house.

I really wish I didn’t feel that way, that I could just go out without feeling like I didn’t want to. That I could want to go out.

But either way I will, and I know, I will have a good time when I do it. It’s just the feeling leading up to it, the anxiety, the fear of being judged, that I have to learn to deal with.

Sorry people. I’m trying.

I’m supposed to say my wheelchair, right?

On By Katy DalyIn Blog, My Disability Truth, Writing PromptsLeave a comment

The most important invention in your lifetime is…

So I’m going to answer this question in terms of what invention I feel has had the most important impact on me personally. Not necessarily the most important global or social invention of my time. Basically I’m not doing any research, I’m just answering the question based on my life.

If you looked at me now, you’d think this was the most logically answer. And while I am grateful for the invention of the wheelchair, and in my case particularly the electric wheelchair, there are in fact other more important inventions to me.

I don’t think I’d be answering this question properly if I didn’t consider the inventions that undoubtably saved my life when I was born. Like many with my condition I was born extremely prematurely and should’ve died. So a small nod to the inventions that are the reason I’m alive.

Then it’s important to remember the ones you’re more likely to see me in, my electric wheelchair. There’s my electric bed and air mattress that I need to sleep, as well as my electric blanket which has to be the best pain killer for me personally. My comfy chair which just gives me somewhere else to sit and my shower chair, which I hope by the title is self-explanatory. Then you’ve got to remember the hoist, that gets me from a, to b, to c and sometimes d.

But the ones that I feel are the most important thing to me are those like the mobile phone, the internet, the computer. Now I know this sounds very millennial of me, if I’m getting the terminology correct. And someone’s somewhere is going to judge me for my reliance on the internet. But just remember where you’re reading this blog.

The internet, social media and the technology that exists to use them on. Provides me access and inclusion to the world around me in a way my wheelchair cannot do in such an inaccessible world. Steps do not exist on the internet.

I know social media gets a bad reputation and I understand why. But I always say it’s the way people use technology, not the technology that it is bad. While this doesn’t apply to things like guns which don’t have a good use. It applies to things like knives which clearly do, and in the case of this post, social media.

Social media lets me be the me I wish I could be in the real world. It lets me meet new people near and far, and learn all about them. It lets me keep in touch with people, that would be even more difficult to do without social media due to my lack of mobility. The internet truly is a wonder. And phones can do so much, provide so much access beyond what I use them for.

Inventions truly are a wonder. They can often be used by people in ways the person who invented them likely never imaged. They are never to be underestimated.

I’ve talked a lot about this recently.

On By Katy DalyIn Blog, Writing PromptsLeave a comment

What would you do if you won the lottery?

I think it’s something that everyone talks about from time to time. Even when you know it’s never going to happen, it’s good to dream.

But I don’t even play the lottery, I don’t really have the money to waste, so I’m never going to win am I.

But let’s still give the question a go.

I used to say that I would by an accessible camper van. So I could live somewhere that was completely accessible to me, travel where I wanted, and see family. So that I could stay somewhere else without having to be uncomfortable. I even used to say that I would pay for carers to be on call 24/7 and follow me around in there own camper van.

And while this idea is nice, and maybe something I would do if I won a lot of money, I don’t think it’s where I would start if I won the lottery any more.

I would start with doing up the flat I live in now. Making it look nice and a little more lived in than it is.

I would then buy some more up to date tech. A good computer, a good phone things like that.

I would then stock up the house, get some better appliances than I currently have. I would make sure rent and bills are paid well in advance if possible so I wouldn’t need to worry about them.

Then a holiday, abroad. Somewhere hot maybe, or somewhere I’ve always wanted to go, Las Vagas, maybe. Or I’ve always wanted to go on a cruise, that would be fun. Or even just to say somewhere in a posh hotel.

I would also love to try a spa, get a new tattoo, get my hair done professionally. Those types of things. Maybe I could even get a jacuzzi in the garden with a hoist so I could use it.

Maybe then a car, and learn to drive.

What I find interesting about what I would do if I won the lottery, is I would just live a more accessible life. I would just like to explore the world a bit L, and live in little more comfort.

I don’t think that makes me different from many people. It’s just the money might be spent a little differently in order to active it.

It is likely to cost me a lot more to live a comfortably life, because of my disability. Life is more expensive when you’re disabled. Added to this is it is harder to earn money, and when it’s harder to earn money, you have less of it, which makes things altogether more expensive. And the inaccessibility of the world costs money to solve.

Life is just altogether more expensive when you’re disabled. People including the government somewhat recognise this, but no one who doesn’t live this life, truly understands the cost of disability.

To see me.

On By Katy DalyIn My Disability Truth, Writing Prompts1 Comment

What is the greatest gift someone could give you?

I don’t think many people do.

I just wish people would look at me and see a person, not someone in capable of various things.

Just see me as a person who’s trying to live my life just like you.

Years of people seeing me as a disabled person, has had a bigger impact on me than I think I sometimes realise. I struggle to see myself as anything more than my disability. And I struggle with other people, having issues that are shown a lot more respect and understanding that my own issues are shown.

If people just saw me as a normal person with issues, just like everybody else. And not as consumingly, magical species of disabled person, that’s supposed to have eased living differently. I think I would do a lot better emotionally in my day-to-day life.

I’m not perfect, no one is. Things are difficult for everyone. Just because I haven’t known anything different doesn’t make this easy. You expecting it to be easy makes it more difficult. I’m trying the way everybody else is.

I’m sorry, if this post is a bit all over the place, I think I’ve got a bit emotional with it.

Christmas evening

On By Katy DalyIn My Disability TruthLeave a comment

I want to say that I spent it alone, but that’s not true because I spent it with my girls, enjoying a curry.

And while this was my choice it doesn’t always feel like it was my choice to make, more like a choice that happened to me. Not that that makes sense from the outside.

In order for me to stay with my family I would have had to sleep in my wheelchair, and that is just something I did not want to do.

So you could say I chose not to spend the night with my family, or you could say I chose to be comfortable. It just frustrates me that I had to choose one over the other.

It seems my choice will always be my own comfort or the comfort of those around me. It feels like I will never be in a situation where it will be possible for all of us to be comfortable. And I’m always the one expected to make the sacrifice. I chose not to make that sacrifice tonight and my reward for holding to my word is being away from my family.

It’s not that I blame my family for this just that I wish the world was more accessible to me so that these choices didn’t have to be made. Or maybe it is that I blame my family and I just don’t want to recognize it. I honestly don’t know.

When you think someone should get it and they don’t

On By Katy DalyIn My Disability TruthLeave a comment

I’m incontinent,

If I had to pick a part of my disability that makes me the most uncomfortable, I would say this is it. So for that reason I try to be as open as possible about it, to not let it win.

Now having grown up disabled, this lovely part of our soecity called exclusion, pushes me to be in the same circles as many other disabled people. A lot of people think that this is actually inclusion, but from experience they don’t actually care what disabled children have in common, the fact there disabled is enough. And pushing is together is easier than creating more accessible inclusive spaces where we just get to be, but now I’m getting a little disstracted here.

As a result of this exclusion, I happen to know a lot of disabled people, simply because they are disabled. Now while this can sometimes be useful, as we have a lot of shared experiences, not everything about us or what we believe is the same, simply because we are disabled. So this can make for some interesting friendships to say to least.

Some of these friends are also incontinent, and this is something that I personally am thankful for that we have in common, due to how I still emotionally struggle with my incontience. Anyway, I was with one of my friends the other day, who pointed out that as a result of incontinece there was a certain smell in the area. Now where she this could have come from many people, but I’m pretty sure it was me. Lets just say she wasn’t very nice about it,

I hope the way I’ve explained this makes sense as I’m still pretty upset by it so I may have been vague, let me know if it doesn’t.

What I don’t understand is no matter who was responsible for the smell, why they had to make a big deal about it.

It’s not like anyone is incontinent by choice, or making a smell by choice, and it could just so easily be them. I think that’s the part that really gets me, I’ve known it to be them before and I have never said anything. Normally I don’t care about things like this, but given who they are and the specifics of the issue, there reaction is really bothering me.

I guess just because you have a certain issue, doesn’t mean you will have respect and understanding for people who also have that issue.

Doctor Who

On By Katy DalyIn My Disability TruthLeave a comment

This is such a monumental moment, that I had to share it here.

“For every disabled kid who couldn’t get into the Tardis, this ramp is forever yours.” – Ruth Madeley

If you don’t understand how big this is, how much this matters. Then I don’t know if you understand what it really means to be denied access everywhere. To simply not be thought of for something you can’t control. To feel like you cause a problem just by being. The ramps inside were one thing. But there’s no denying what this is. No denying who it’s for. No denying we all matter.

I’ve gotten snappy at people poking holes in the Tardis having a ramp. I get it. They’re just asking the question. But this has been insanely validitating for me. Like I have to force myself not to tell random people. It makes me incredibly happy to be seen. And having people point flaws like with K9, who they obviously didn’t think about at the time, like that’s why they changed cameras. Or how the Darleks can get in, like making something accessible means you make bad things possible, is just completely missing the point. This isn’t some cool feature of the Tardis for me. This is access to space and time. This is what it means to have people see you as important enough to be included because they want to, not because they had to. Shirley didn’t even get in the Tardis. They didn’t at all need to have that scene. And yet? They did. Even if we never see it again, which I really hope we do, its there. And I just….. please.

If you’ve got some flaw in the ramp can just not

💙💙

Image Description: Ruth in her wheelchair next to the big blue Tardis with a ramp coming out of it. Ruth is wearing a black jumpsuit and her hair is tied in a chignon.

On By Katy DalyIn My Disability Truth, Writing Prompts1 Comment

What’s your favorite cartoon?

Actually doing what you want to is hard. Any person in the arts will tell you that.

As much as I have to write, as much as I love to express myself. a lot of the time what I want to say, never leaves my mind. The only person I can really be annoyed with about this is me.

As I write this, it is almost 5 am. And I’m actually using voice to text, it took me longer than it should’ve done not think of doing this, as cheating in someway.

Hello again, internalised ableism. I wish it was longer between our meetings.

There’s I really important post I want to share. But I’m annoyed with myself at not having the emotional energy to share it at 5am on a Saturday morning. How bad is that?

Does anyone remember watching cartoons on a Saturday morning? I think we need to bring that back.

Anyway, I can’t sleep because I fell asleep to early, so really, it’s my own fault. I knew it was a bad idea to go to sleep when I did, but sometimes fatigue just wins.

I had a world wind of a day yesterday, and I want to share some parts of it, well one particular part. But I can’t bring myself to write that post, for, well reasons. But obviously I can write because I’m writing this post, about wishing I could write that post.

Maybe it’s because the post I want to write feels so important, that I’m worried I’ll never be able to do myself justice with it. I just don’t know really.

But anyway, my favourite cartoon is Bob‘s Burgers. I wish I could explain why but I don’t really know. I love the way it’s written, the stories it tells, the inclusion, the escapism, the nonsense, all of it.

If you haven’t watched it, you definitely should. I know it’s shown randomly on some channels, but if you have Disney+, it’s mostly on there, apart from the season, which unfortunately I’m still still waiting to see.

I posted today in a fan group for the show, asking for similar shows to watch, as I’m almost always watching Bob burgers on repeat and I just wanted to see what else was out there. I got some lovely responses and some new shows to try. But if you have any recommendations, do let me know.

I should try to get some sleep, there is a possibility that I have a long day today, last-minute plans and all that. I don’t make them often as being disabled requires a lot of planning and last-minute plans are kind of the opposite of that. But I have options, so I’ll see how the day goes.

Either way, I have to be up in less than two hours.