Tag: Freedom

Freedom.

On By Katy DalyIn My Disability Truth, Writing PromptsLeave a comment

What are the most important things needed to live a good life?

I understand that this can be a complex question, because it depends what you think a good life is, but I guess that’s the point.

Personally I would have to say one of the most important things needed to live a good life, whatever you believe that to be is Freedom. Freedom can look different to everyone. It can be the safety to live independently from others, or the ability to choose what you wear, how you look and where you go when you want.

Essentially I think Freedom is defined as living whatever life you want to live, within the bounds of not causing harm to others obviously.

Everything else I can think of that someone might need to live a good life, all stems from this idea of having the freedom to live the way they want to live.

A good life is a life that makes you happy, a life that doesn’t intentionally hurt others, life doing the things you enjoy.

I know this is a vague answer to the question but I don’t really want to be more specific, as I know that a good life can only really be defined by the person who is living it. The one thing I am clear about is that you do not live a good life if your life involves intentionally hurting others. This is never a good life, just keep to your own good life, and let others live theres.

By my own definitions here I don’t life a good life, I can’t do what I want when I want it because I need help to do it, make of that what you will.

When you need help for a lot of things in life, Freedom is conditional, so in my opinion it’s not really freedom.

I don’t live a bad life, by any stretch. I live the best life I can with the situation that my life has been presented to me. But I struggle sometimes to see it as a good life, by what I truly believe a good life to be.

People just want to have fun.

On By Katy DalyIn BlogLeave a comment

So first of all, I want to apologise because this is another backdated post. I’m actually going to write this one and then write tomorrow, which is today’s straight after. But I think I can class this as a backdated post for a good reason.

For the first time in a really long while  I went out with some friends that I haven’t seen some of them in years, because it was one of their birthdays. It was such a fun day. And all honesty, I didn’t feel disabled for most of it. Which is nice.

Usually this only happens if what I am doing is incredibly accessible. it wasn’t. It was about accessible as everything else usually is. I’d say there weren’t many problems, but there were some. The reason I didn’t feel disabled I think because I was with other disabled people. While I’m not a fan on segregation in anyway there is something to be said about the ease of being with people who aren’t gonna question why you do things a certain way or why you can’t do certain things. There’s no awkwardness if I ask for help. I feel like I can ask for help, probably because I’m not the only one that needed to ask for help.

Inclusion is about more than just being in the room, it’s about being made to feel like you belong in the room. This is something I feel very people who are not disabled. And I feel many disabled people I just meet more than family for example.

It’s just that shared understanding. It’s just nice for it not to matter that I’m disabled for a while.

So I had a really fun day, came home and fell almost immediately asleep. I couldn’t have my Care because I’d stayed out late, but that’s not something I really want to get into on this positive post.

Honestly at the minute when I write on this blog.

On By Katy DalyIn Asexual Awareness Week 2023 🖤🩶🤍💜, My Disability TruthLeave a comment

When do you feel most productive?

I don’t know if that’s sad or not.

But it really does feel like this blog is the only thing I can do for myself right now. That might sound a little buzzard, but I think it’s the fact that I get to fully control what’s on this blog. There’s not many things I get full control of in my life. So I hold on to what I have.

I am aware that I’ve said similar things on this blog before, but at least you know I’m telling the truth.

Concerts and shows.

On By Katy DalyIn BlogLeave a comment

I’m looking to go to another show. I recognise the privileged position I am in, that I can consider going to shows. That I have the money, time and the physical health and ability to do so. But every single time I do this I’m reminded of how disabled I am.

The extra steps I have to take, to get one of the limited number of wheelchair spaces at at a venue, this venue has four. And not knowing which of these steps this specific venue wants me to take. 

I can’t just buy the ticket on generally sale. I have to first know if the venue is accessible, and then if I need to buy another ticket or if the person who’s support I need at concerts is able to get a companion ticket. I then need to know whether the ticket needs to be bought from the venue website or from the standard ticket sale site.

I don’t want less steps, I want the same amount of steps. This is accessibility.

Now there are many reasons that concerts are inaccessibility to me. So once I’ve bought a ticket, doesn’t mean I’ll have a great time when I go. It feels like my disability is every, like it touches everything, and it does. Even even concerts. Even music.

My freedom is yet again tainted by my disability. More, by the inaccessibility of the world around me.

But I keep trying, I’m going to do my best to keep trying, to go to the show. To be an active part of the world around me. And not just feel stuck and forced to live in it. Concerts and shows help me with this, if they go well. If the experience goes well that is, if it goes badly the opposite happens. But I can but try.

Freedom

On By Katy DalyIn My Disability Truth, Writing PromptsLeave a comment

You’re going on a cross-country trip. Airplane, train, bus, car, or bike?

The freedom people get when they are not disabled will probably never cease to amaze me. The freedom just to answer questions like this, to not be stopped by who they are when they try to do so.

Many of these modes of transport aren’t accessible to me, and those that require planning.

As a full time wheelchair user, an airplane is not accessible to me, it is simply too risky. If you don’t understand what I’m talking about, then you are lucky.

While a train is generally accessible to me, with assistance. There’s no guarantee that all the stations I may want to go to are accessible to me. In fact from experience, money aren’t, and this often determines exactly where I will travel.

While buses at least in my area are accessible to me, they are only accessible to me if there isn’t already someone in a wheelchair on the bus. One day, the people that designed for which transport might learn that multiple disabled people can and often do travel at the same time.

Certain cars are accessible to me, but not many. I cannot just get a lift off anyone. And while I can learn to drive a specifically adapted vehicle, to do get the vehicle would cost me money I don’t have. This is before I even know whether driving is something I would be physically capable of.

I’m going to just say that we bike is concerned, I cannot ride one and we’ll leave it at that.

You don’t travel to a place on a journey, you visit that place as well. Accessibility doesn’t stop in modes of transport.

The world isn’t generally accessible for people like me in various many ways. I don’t really get to explore questions like this, without an element of ignoring reality. There’s a word for this, which took me as surprising amount of time to remember at 3:30 am. Cognitive Dissonance.

I think somebody’s gonna read this and wonder why did I take it so seriously? It’s obviously one of those writing prompts like what would you do if you won the lottery? Reality isn’t really supposed to be considered in these situations.

But I’m not really good considering reality when someone asks me these questions. I’m not really good at the cognitive dissonance. I’m thinking about myself and situations I might be in. My disability is such an integral part of who I am and the experiences I have. That it’s hard to separate myself from it, even in the situations.

I suppose I don’t really know what it’s like to think as a non-disabled person. I don’t really understand what it means to have that freedom on any level, whether that be thought or reality, it doesn’t seem to matter.

Maybe if I had a bit more freedom, in reality, it might be something that would reach my imagination, a little bit easier. Then perhaps I could answer these questions as they were intended to be answered.

The only way I reach this level of freedom in thought, as I am sometimes able to reflect in my writing, is to completely distance myself from the thought. In reality, my freedom is always limited by the world around me and there is nothing I can do about it. As soon as I put myself in the situation, my reality hits again, and I am limited by it.

Please forgive the state of this post as my sleep deprived brain is unable to reread it and make sure it actually makes any sense at all.

Listening to music.

On By Katy DalyIn Writing PromptsLeave a comment

What activities do you lose yourself in?

I could listen to music all day ever day. It’s a major form of escapism for me. The only one I can partake in when the fatigue hits.

While I can’t say I have a favourite song, I love music to much just to pick one song. I can say that my current go to song is linked below.

Music is amazing. But as much as I don’t like silence, if I want to focus on what I’m doing then I have to have tv on rather than music. If I have music on I will just get too lost in the lyrics to be focusing on what I’m supposed to be focusing on.

So if I’m ever ignoring you, when I’m listening to music, know that I’m not doing it on purpose. I’ve just got lost in a song or two.

What’s your current go to song?

Stuck in bed.

On By Katy DalyIn Blog, My Disability TruthLeave a comment

My hoist broke today. A necessary piece of equipment I use to get from my bed to my chair. So I spent the day in bed.

There are different types of hoists which enable people that are unable to transfer themselves, to be lifted safely. My hoist is a ceiling hoist, meaning it runs on tracks attached to the ceiling. This is a lot more compact than a portable hoist, which is similar but on a frame with wheels which needs to be pushed around the space.

For those of you that don’t know I have included a picture of my hoist. The first picture shows how it was broken, the second picture shows my thankfully now fixed hoist.

Image Description: A picture of my hoist on  the ceiling with the track visible. The top of the hoist shows exposed wires, and the cover is dangling above the part of the hoist a person is attached.
Image Description: A picture of the same hoist as in the first picture, above my head, with the cover now reattached.

My hoist was fixed very easily with the cover just being reattached by the engineer. It is something that a non-disabled person would likely have been able to do by themselves. However I often need help to do what others might view as a simple fix. And thought it best to get it fixed professionally to ensure it wasn’t accidentally broken more by someone else trying to fix it.

Now I could have gotten up after the hoist was fixed, but I honestly just didn’t see the point. This is why I like to get up and into my chair early every day, even if I go back to sleep because I find it difficult to find the motivation to get up later in the day. I’m very used to napping in my wheelchair or my other chair, which is also I we’ll chair I guess.

It’s important to remember that if a person hasn’t chosen to stay in bed, they’re not being lazy for staying in bed. The choice in there actions matters.

Another reason I make sure I get up and into my chair every morning is so that I don’t become unable to sit in my chair, and so that I am able to have as much freedom as possible to go out during the day. 

When you rely on technology, on accessibility aids, to live your life, them braking is a loss of freedom. And as things almost always brake at some point, you just have to live your life with the potential loss of freedom. With the reality that the world could become inaccessible to you with no warning.

This can be one of the reasons someone may have to cancel plans with others with little or no warning. Just beware that when plans are cancelled at short notice, the person may not want to cancel on you. If it’s completely out of their control, don’t make them feel guilty for it, I promise you they feel guilty enough.

We can all feel like we have a lack of control in life, and there are many situations that we do actually not have control in life. However most people will have at least small elements of conrol, which room of the house they sit in for example. But when you’re disabled, it can feel like this applies to all situations, and sometimes it actually does.

A little compassion can go a long way, this applies to everyone, not just disabled people. I’m just thankful I can get on with the rest of my plans for the week.

Nighttime.

On By Katy DalyIn Writing PromptsLeave a comment

What’s your favorite time of day?

I prefer the nighttime because either I get to work or sleep. Yes, right now I am technically doing either because I’m procrastinating both. But it’s the only time of day when I’m completely on my own, left to my own devices, and freedom.

I feel so much less disabled on my own sometimes, but usually at night. No one expects anything of me and I am free just to be me. That said the trade-off is being stuck in bed, but I accept that you can’t win them all.

This isn’t always an easy question.

On By Katy DalyIn Writing Prompts2 Comments

What do you enjoy most about writing?

But I feel like it should be. I love writing so much, the freedom it brings me and the worlds I can create are unmatched. But sometimes it’s so difficult.

Why is it so difficult? Why is it so difficult to do the thing I love so much?

How can something that gives me so much life, bring me so much dread?

I’m trying to do the things I love, to write about the things I love and the things that are so important to me. But I feel like I’m battling myself, and the rest of the world, all at the same time.

I just hope one day I make it, one day it gets easier. That said I’m not sure who I’d be without the fight, but I suppose that’s a future me problem.