Tag: Food

You have to be able to think into the future.

On By Katy DalyIn BlogLeave a comment

When you’re disabled, you have to be able to think not only about everything you currently need, but about everything you might need being left alone.

As I write this, I am sat at home hungry because I didn’t think about the fact that I would want food when earlier I wasn’t hungry. And because I am home alone, I’m not able to get food until the person I live with comes home. Therefore I’m just hungry, and essentially waiting for someone to come feed me.

If I had thought about it more, I would’ve had something to eat before they left or been left with something like crisps that I could eat on my own, but I didn’t. I just spoke to the person with her basically blamed me for not asking for something to eat before they left. But then I wasn’t hungry, and I wasn’t thinking. It’s hard to ask for things that you might need when you don’t need them. And the only person that suffers when I don’t do this, it’s me.

I don’t think anyone who isn’t disabled has to think like this. Sure there are sometimes when we all have to think and plan for the future, but when you disabled you have to do it nearly all the time. And that doesn’t make me any better at it just because it’s more important to me. You would think it would, but no.

I hate that even the basic things in life aren’t accessible to me if I haven’t thought ahead. And I hate that if I don’t think about this, I’m the only one that suffers for it.

I’m hungry.

Send food.

I can do some things on my own.

On By Katy DalyIn Blog, My Disability Truth2 Comments

So after being out all day yesterday, the person I live with seemed surprise that I told them I would be okay to handle what we’d being doing today on my own if they wanted to stay home and sleep.

To make it clear I won’t really be on my own for a lot of the day, but because they won’t be with me for all of it, for part of the day I would be on my own. Specifically while we get to the place where we’d be meeting family.

This is a well practiced route that I do almost every Monday, when we go for a family breakfast, so I’d be fine. In some ways it’s actually easier for me to be out of the house on my own than in the house on my own. My house is just that inaccessible in parts to me. But still they seemed surprised that I’d be okay to handle this on my own.

I think it’s easy to forget when you see how much help I need on a regular basis that I don’t need help for everything. That although some things are easier for me to get help with, it doesn’t mean I couldn’t manage them alone.

Interestingly as I write this I had to call for help, but remember what I said about my house not being that accessible to me? Blame the environment for that one.

Anyway, the way they said this was like they expected me not to go if they weren’t going, and honestly that annoyed me maybe more than it should. Like I said this is something we do every week, and a few times I’ve been too tired to go, but I’ve never expected them not to go because I wouldn’t be. It’s like they forget I am an adult that can do things without them. Maybe they do? Maybe everyone does? Maybe I do? I don’t know.

There’s something else I want to add about this weekly get-together. It started years ago, and initially, it wasn’t something I was invited to, which really upset me, and on some level, I think it still does. When I questioned why I wasn’t invited, I was told they just didn’t think I wanted to go. And I don’t know if they genuinely believe that, or if it’s just what they tell themselves to make themselves not feel guilty, or which answer to that is worse.

I personally think they decided that it would be too difficult for me to get there, and so decided just not to invite me. I never questioned it because for a while I didn’t actually know it was happening. But this wouldn’t be the first time my family have done something like that. Made the decision for me about going somewhere or doing something, and so never asked me about it. They once went to a theme park when they knew I wouldn’t be home.

This isn’t something I can bring up with them, as it will definitely start more drama than it is worth. I doubt they even remember what they did. But I do. I remember the exclusion, feeling like I was too much to be included even by my own family. That’s something that I still struggle with now. I often say I don’t want to do things, if I think having me involved will make things more difficult for others. It’s not only my family that have excluded me in this way throughout my life, but it definitely hurts worse when it comes from them.

But back to today, I will be going to the family breakfast, whether or not I have to get there or back to my dad’s on my own. It will be happening. I deserve to be involved in things, I deserve to be involved in this family. And this is how I want to be involved. Plus, I really like being able to have chips for breakfast.

Just remember that if you’re reading this, know that you deserve the same from your own family whether or not they make you feel that way. You deserve to be part of the gathering, part of the memory, part of it all. And if they exclude you, it is always a choice, there could’ve always been a way to include you. That is a decision they made, it is on them not you

Money.

On By Katy DalyIn BlogLeave a comment

So money is tight but I have got in very good at making it work by now.

Many people would say that as I am on benefits this is how it should be. Benefits are supposed to buy you the essentials and not keep you comfortable. Those in charge of the benefits system will tell you that this is an intentional setup to motivate people to get into work. But this doesn’t consider people who can’t just go out and look for work to improve their situation.

To prove a point to those who could get a job to provide their income, those of us who can’t are made to suffer.

I would love to work. I have tried to get into work. But an ableist society, or my disabilty, depending on how I’m feeling about myself in the moment, have made this incredibly difficult if not impossible for me to do.

Society doesn’t want disabled people to be included. An how we are judged for being on benefits is a prime example of this. If we are able to brake free from the box that they want us in, to get a job and make money. Most of our benefits are taken from us at a rate that isn’t really proportionate to the cost of living in the world.

The UK does allow us to keep one benefits as disabled people, even if we find employment. But this doesn’t cover the deficit of disability, the disability tax, the reality of being disabled.

Though I started writing this post a few days ago, in relates to the topic I choose to write about when fulfilling yesterdays writing prompt. You can read that here.

It focuses on a specific area of the disability tax, food. Food often costs more money when you’re disabled because of the type of food that is accessible to a disabled.

Often ready-made food is needed over the cheaper ingredients that can be bought by some to make the meal for yourself. For me, this plays out in a reliance on microwave meals and takeaways.

Money is more of a balancing act when you’re disabled. You’re only allowed a small amount of it before you’ll be penalised for having it. Yet the things you need, the help you need; a cleaner, ready-made food, taxis, to name a few that apply to me, cost more money.

It doesn’t really make sense when you think about it that way. But I’m sure many people will tell you that things cost more when you have less money. But it definitely has a different impact, and sometimes a bigger impact when you’re disabled.

I hate that my independence isn’t always affordable.

There’s something I love about takeaways food.

On By Katy DalyIn My Disability Truth, Writing PromptsLeave a comment

What is your favorite restaurant?

Takeaways can actually be an accessibility tool.

A lot of people see things that make doing something easy as promoting laziness, but this just isn’t the case. I don’t believe that laziness exists and if you can do something in a way that is easier for you, you absolutely should. As someone who can’t cook, takeaways are how I cook. They’re both how I get to decide my own food, and contribute to the cooking in the house.

For me takeaways are an accessibility tool, though I love takeaways, even though I can’t always afford to have them. This can be seen as part of what is called as the disability tax, that is the extra money disabled people pay to have to live in such an inaccessible society.

For me it’s either takeaways, microwave meals or very basic oven meals. As I can not cook at all, and the person I live with has limited ability to do so. While society will tell you it’s easier and cheaper to home cook a meal, it’s not always easier (or possible) so the cheaper option isn’t always an option.

It’s also worth remembering the other areas of inaccessibility I face, such as my wheelchair or reliance on carers, that mean I don’t often go out to eat at restaurants. If I’m out I will eat, but I don’t think I’ve ever gone out to eat apart from with friends and family. So I’m answering this question from the perspective of takeaways rather than restaurants specifically, if that wasn’t obvious before.

My favourite takeaway has to be Mcdonalds I think. I like to keep it simple. But I also love a good subway. Something like Indian or Chinese is saved for special occasions like birthdays.

I don’t cook much.

On By Katy DalyIn Writing PromptsLeave a comment

What’s your favorite thing to cook?

I love food. But I don’t cook.

I love potato, seasoning and spices. But I can’t cook.

So if you’re asking what my favourite thing to cook is, that’s almost a mute question.

But that doesn’t mean I don’t get to love food.

Remember you don’t have to be able to cook to enjoy food.

Eating is hard.

On By Katy DalyIn My Disability TruthLeave a comment

There are many reasons eating can be difficult for someone. For me it’s quite clearly the physical aspect of eating.

I have been staring at my burger for several hours now and haven’t eaten it. I will eat it, and I’m already annoyed that it will be cold, and that that’s my fault.

But I cannot muster the strength or focus to eat.

It’s like my brain is ignoring that it needs to happen.

Whatever you manage to acomplish today, I’m proud of toy for it.

This might not be the answer you’re expecting.

On By Katy DalyIn Blog, Writing PromptsLeave a comment

What are your feelings about eating meat?

I honestly don’t find anything wrong with it. I know that many practices in order to get the demand required are inhumane and this is obviously wrong. But the actual practice of simply eating meat I have no problem with.

You with me so far?

I don’t thihk this is an usual take, but the next part might be.

So I actually don’t eat a lot of meat simply because I find it physically difficult to eat because of my disability. I think when I was younger I associated this difficulty in eating with certain typed of meats not tasting good, when in fact they were just difficult to eat.

In many ways you could say that big chunks of meat are simply inaccessible to me. They don’t feel worth the physical effort required to eat them.

So my personal opinions on eating meat, are not strictly reflective of whether or not I eat meat.

Sometimes I don’t thihk my disability effects me to much.

On By Katy DalyIn My Disability TruthLeave a comment

Besides the obvious lack of ability to walk, I forget how much my disability affects my day-to-day life, because it is just my life. Then I remember that I’m sat here alone (with the animals) with food just out of reach, and would rather fall asleep than eat, despite being hungry. Then I’m reminded just how much it affects me.

Don’t worry my sister will be back in and hour or two. I’m okay. I’m probably going to go back to sleep.

I burnt beans in a microwave.

On By Katy DalyIn Blog, Writing Prompts2 Comments

Write about your most epic baking or cooking fail.

I’m not sure if this is actually an epic fail or if it is something that’s easy to do, as I don’t have much experience with cooking. In part this is due to my lack of effort in the area, but this I believe is influenced by fatigue. The biggest influence is, I believe, the inaccessibility of the world around me.

So yes. I’m not a very good cook. And while I will allow you to and even welcome you to use my kitchen. I don’t cook for anyone that comes in my house. This is also extended to making drinks, as it just takes me to long and is to much effort.