I’m someone that likes to spend a lot of time in my house, but it’s different when you don’t have a choice in that.
If you ever look at that too closely at my situation, you might come to the conclusion that that is because the world outside is difficult for me. There is a lot of inaccessibility that I face on a daily basis. Far more than I will ever have the time or energy to process let alone write about.
There is just some stuff you just have to ignore to get on with your life. But it’s impossible to ignore everything, and I don’t think I should have to just make everybody else feel better. This is why I started to write about and share my experiences.
Today is one of those days, where I can’t ignore my experiences of inaccessibility. The inaccessibility I’m facing today, and my lack of choice in this, is obvious today. As the picture below shows, today is a snow day.
Image Caption: The ramp outside my home covered in a thin layer of snow.
While I have cropped this photo to protect my safety and not give too much away about where I live. The original photo also showed how my garden and the pavement and road outside my home were also covered in this amount of snow.
This may not seem like a lot of snow, and I completely understand that depending on where you are in the world it actually isn’t. But when you use a wheelchair it doesn’t take a lot of snow to make going outside incredibly dangerous. So I’m going to be stuck in the house.
Now I had no plans to go outside today, I’m actually waiting for something to be delivered. The only thing I really had to do was walk the dogs, but they’ll be fine for one day.
But now I can’t leave the house, and this isn’t just a choice, things feel a lot different.
Choice matters. And just because someone is doing something that you wish you could do, like staying at home, doesn’t mean they’re doing it by choice.
Today the world is inaccessible to me because of the weather. And that means there’s nothing I can do about it, but wait for it to pass. Maybe tomorrow will be different, but we’ll just have to see.
I hope you get to enjoy the weather wherever you are, and have the best day you can, whatever that looks like for you.
I really like to do these writing prompts, but sometimes they’re very difficult, particularly the vague ones. This is pretty vague.
What would I do differently, if what?
I was rich?
I wasn’t disabled?
I was an alien from Mars?
If I wasn’t disabled, it is a question I try to stay away from. I guess I’d live a life with a bit more freedom. But thats all I’m prepared to say for now.
If I was rich, I’d live a life with more freedom, but wouldn’t we all?
If I was an alien from Mars, I would probably be dissected, let’s be honest.
I don’t really know how else to answer this question. But let me know if there’s a way to answer it that I’m missing.
Even the most generous person will argue against helping someone do something when they have to help them a lot.
I’m not talking about the necessary things, I’m lucky enough that I’m always supported in those. But often the little things, are an argument. And they’re an argument I lost this morning.
I wanted to walk the dogs first thing in the morning, as I both like to get it out of the way, and also think it is better for the doggies. But as I need someone else to go with me, to help, if they don’t want to go that early in the morning, we don’t go.
Honestly my day got worse from there. Sometimes I just hate not being able to do things for myself. Today is definitely one of those days.
This is such a monumental moment, that I had to share it here.
“For every disabled kid who couldn’t get into the Tardis, this ramp is forever yours.” – Ruth Madeley
If you don’t understand how big this is, how much this matters. Then I don’t know if you understand what it really means to be denied access everywhere. To simply not be thought of for something you can’t control. To feel like you cause a problem just by being. The ramps inside were one thing. But there’s no denying what this is. No denying who it’s for. No denying we all matter.
I’ve gotten snappy at people poking holes in the Tardis having a ramp. I get it. They’re just asking the question. But this has been insanely validitating for me. Like I have to force myself not to tell random people. It makes me incredibly happy to be seen. And having people point flaws like with K9, who they obviously didn’t think about at the time, like that’s why they changed cameras. Or how the Darleks can get in, like making something accessible means you make bad things possible, is just completely missing the point. This isn’t some cool feature of the Tardis for me. This is access to space and time. This is what it means to have people see you as important enough to be included because they want to, not because they had to. Shirley didn’t even get in the Tardis. They didn’t at all need to have that scene. And yet? They did. Even if we never see it again, which I really hope we do, its there. And I just….. please.
If you’ve got some flaw in the ramp can just not
💙💙
Image Description: Ruth in her wheelchair next to the big blue Tardis with a ramp coming out of it. Ruth is wearing a black jumpsuit and her hair is tied in a chignon.
When I was out walking the dogs today, I got stuck in what I later learned was a hole used for trees in a pavement.
While I was with my sister she was unable to help me alone and we had my brother. While waiting for help my sister took the dogs home so they were safe and to be frank out of the way.
For a while, we thought my wheelchair might be broken, but thankfully this was not the case.
The hole that I fell into was covered with leaves and therefore was not clear. And unfortunately, the person who worked in the place this was outside of, didn’t seem likely to want to ensure that no one fell in the hole again. All they would have had to do is put a cover on the hole, or a sign to warn people about it. They don’t seem to care that there lack of care makes part of the world that they are responsible for dangerous and inaccessible to some.
Please if you can do what you can to keep the world as accessible to as many people as possible. We all deserve to be able to move around the world safely.
I do feel guilty that my brother had to come and help me today but I’m very glad he did. It can be emotionally difficult when you’re an adult, to randomly need quite a lot of help from people but I’m glad that I’ve people to help me. Sometimes we all need help.
My Inaccessible Life 