Tag: Education

Am I expected to list a school you’ve likely never heard of?

On By Katy DalyIn Writing PromptsLeave a comment

What colleges have you attended?

In all honesty I don’t really like this question very much. It seems like to answer this question I would be giving away information that might give a way where I am, and I don’t want to do that. But I can and want to give a little bit of information about the two colleges I have attended.

So depending on where you are in the world, you might use the word college differently to how I do. College where I am from, refers to a school you attend between the ages of 16-18 at least, but potentially up to 25 depending on exactly what you study. While in College the intent is to gain qualifications which will enable you to go on to work, apprenticeships or further education.

For me specifically I attended college so I could get the required qualifications to go to university. I think university is what some refer to as college. I spent the 4 years after college at university, and I’m going to avoid mentioning what I’m doing with all that now, but back to college.

I attended two colleges, as I had to repeat a year, and the first college I was at wouldn’t allow me to do this. The first college I attended was reportedly one of the greatest colleges in the area. But from experience, they only cared if you were exceptionally clever or were going to fail whatever course you were doing. I was neither of these things.

While at this college, I found myself continually discriminated against by one particular teacher who was surprised not to find me on the life skills course, as this was the course they believed most of the disabled students in the college took. They looked at me, saw my disability, and used that to assume my academic intellect. Anyway while there I had to have an operation and as a result of this I fIled my second year in that college. One of the teachers didn’t believe that I was in hospital, and refused to send me work as she was instructed, she ended up getting in trouble as a result. I don’t think this was the reason I failed, but I don’t think it helped.

Anyway, I still needed the qualifications in ordered to get into university, so I had to go to another college. Now this college was a lot less favoured, it was generally believed to be the college that people went to if they didn’t get into the better colleges. They provided a much broader range of subjects to gain qualifications in, and covered a lot more of the more practical subjects. But the support they provided was so much better than the reportedly better college I had attends previously. So much so the I wished I had only gone to that college and not the ‘better one’.

So I guess the moral of this story is, just because a place has a great public opinion, doesn’t mean it’s the best place for you.

Sad news

On By Katy DalyIn My Disability TruthLeave a comment

So I found out today that I didn’t get on the course I applied for. The reason I didn’t get on was to do with the ability to support me in the area I wanted to study not because of my own qualifications or ability.

It has made me sad I won’t pretend it hasn’t. But these things do happen, and I’m a firm believer that it will all work out in the end.

That said, when you disabled your options, are already limited by living in such an inaccessible world. So when you go for something and don’t get it. You feel like you don’t have any alternatives available.

I can’t just apply for any job, I can’t just go and work another field. I can’t even seem to get working in my own field.

Right now, I feel like I have no options. Academia is the only place I felt like I had any control and chance of success. And to not be allowed to continue what I wanted to do, and not through any fault of my own. It’s just difficult to accept I think.

I really want to do something with my life. The rest of the world either doesn’t want me to do anything or doesn’t seem to care if I do anything. Except my dad. And it’s nice to have his support. He doesn’t realise how complicated the world is to be a part of when you’re disabled. So sometimes this support can feel like pressure.

I feel like I’m the only one fighting for myself. And I’m not sure how to do that right now.

I’ll pick myself up and I’ll try again. But I just need to be a little bit sad for awhile.

Miss you mum.

On By Katy DalyIn BlogLeave a comment

I had a picture made with mum. Not the same but its something 🎓👩‍🎓

Also I just cried over chocolate moose cos there was an odd number for me and my sister and mum would have had it.

She used to do that thing where she would say I don’t want a full moose but I’ll have the chocolate of your lid, so when I opened it I put extra on it so she could have more.

The big things like my graduation without her, hurt. But the little things definitely hurt me more.

Nothing reminds you how much you missed out on than photos

On By Katy DalyIn BlogLeave a comment

I have written on here previously about my worries regarding a school reunion. Someone in the group for that recently shared a lot of photos from times outside of school. I was not in any of these photos.

I convinced myself that I had chosen not to be part of the social aspects of school, at the time, and that was why I wasn’t part of it all.

While I knew abstractly that this wasn’t true, and that I wasn’t involved in these situations because of social exclusion. Seeing pictures of groups of people meeting up in situations I wasn’t even aware of, made this more obvious to me. I didn’t even know the things I was being excluded from were happening.

My favourite moment.

On By Katy DalyIn My Disability Truth, Writing PromptsLeave a comment

Describe one of your favorite moments.

Wow what a question this is. I’m lucky to have had so many great moments so far that it is hard for me to pick which ones to write about for this prompt.

As I am coming up to my Masters graduation I think back to the moment when I graduated from my degree. That was certainly a big moment for me, but for perhaps in more ways than you might realise.

Education for me has been the leveler in my life. It has given me something which is recognized in an able normative world that I have been able to achieve.

Now I am aware as I write this, of the internalised ableism involved in such a statement. But it’s definitely true for me and perhaps that is something I need to learn to deal with.

But if I’m being completely honest in that moment I felt normal. I was being celebrated for a recognised achievement and not for simply existing as a disabled person.

That said there were parts of the ceremony that I’m not looking forward to repeating. Even my favourite moment seems tainted by the inaccessibility of the world around me. But that’s something for another time, and possibly another post.

If you would like you can check out my post from yesterday’s prompt on notable things that happened to me yesterday, that I have updated.

This is harder to answer than you might think.

On By Katy DalyIn My Disability Truth, Writing Prompts2 Comments

What are you passionate about?

Honestly I’m passionate about a lot of things. If I think freely I think about dancing, music, writing, education, my pets, Inclusion. I could honestly probably keep going.

You’ll have noticed first on this list is dancing. I think it will always hold a special place in my heart. I used to dance as a child, professionally. And the freedom that brought me sometimes feels unmatched to any other freedom I’ve ever felt.

But there’s no career in wheelchair dancing. And try as hard as I wanted I was never going to be able to be a non disabled dancer was I? So there’s no career there for me either.

So I needed to find something else, someone else to be, and for the most part I did.

Sometimes it feels like my disability took my passion from me, other times I feel like it gave it to me.

It’s the reason I write, I think. It’s the reason inclusion matters to me. I even think that it’s the reason my pets matter so much to me. They see me for me, not me disabled, if that makes sense. And well music, I suspect that’s left over from dance isn’t it? But music’s wonderfully freeing so I’m not complaining.

But ultimately my disability took dance from me. Even if I found I way to be a professional wheelchair dancer, which I love and would do in a heartbeat by the way. I would never be able to be the dancer I could have been in my head, you know.

I’m not trying to be depressing. I think it’s important to deal with and accept these kinds of emotions, the disenfranchised grief of the life I was never able to lead. And that I can do so while also living my best at the life I was dealt. It’s a balance.

I think its a problem in the disability community that I’ve seen to force positivity all the time in our situation when it isn’t realistic. I think it comes from trying to prove to non-disabled people that we are happy as we are, and that we deserve to exist without the world trying to change us. Which is of course absolutely true. But we are also allowed to feel bad sometimes as all humans do, to wish life was a little easier or different. I think that’s completely normal. And not allowing ourselves to feel that if we do is trying to hold ourselves to higher standards than anyone else.

All this said, I think for me my passions change, they have to. For me to live my life. Today I’m passionate about having a good day, and I think that’s enough.

What are you passionate about today?

High school.

On By Katy DalyIn Writing PromptsLeave a comment

What experiences in life helped you grow the most?

Specifically going to a mainstream high school, rather than an SEN high school. It wasn’t the school I wanted to go to, it had a lot to work on with access, and I was kind of like there test run for that. But looking back on it now I think I benefited more from being there, than I would have done from a school that was fully accessible to me from the get go.

It obviously wasn’t the lack of accessibility that I benefited from. That made things difficult. But I got to be around people and innaccessiblity that reflected reality, more than a specifically accessibility school.

I don’t think as disabled people it actually helps to be placed in situations that make things overly easier for us, as they are not going to last. And I actually benefited from the opposites.