Sharing my life and areas of inaccessibility, as a full-time electric wheelchair user.
How important is spirituality in your life?
But I respect the importance of it to others.
Whatever brings you comfort in this life is all that matters to me, so long as it doesn’t cause harm to anyone else.
With that said I don’t really know what else I have to say on the matter. Short and sweet for this one.
Write about your first crush.
Memories cannot always be trusted, I do not remember whether I loved before this or not, but I remember what love did to me.
It, wasn’t good.
It made me hate myself more than I think I ever have before. It took time, but I am glad it is over.
I am glad that I now know myself better, that I trust myself more in who I am, without what I thought they needed to give me to exist.
What countries do you want to visit?
If the truth be told, I’m struggling a lot with the freedom that others around me have that I do not. Call me selfish or self-centred, but this is my place to tell the truth, is it not?
I feel like every new accomplishment that those around me make, is a stab in the heart, a reminder of what I will never be able to do.
Sometimes it feels like everything is that. Every party I cannot attend, every mess I cannot clean, every drink I cannot make for myself. Sometimes, it’s really hard to exist in the world when it feels like everything I can not do is everywhere.
For that reason, this question is not reasonable or sensible to me. It simply doesn’t bother thinking about it because it will never happen.
That said, I would love to visit America, and perhaps Malta.
If humans had taglines, what would yours be?
If I tell you that Cyril is the name I use to describe my cerebral palsy, this tagline should make sense.
Naming my cerebral palsy helped me to separate it from myself, and find who I am outside of my disability. But I still often feel trapped by my disability, though I’m trying to make the best of my life.
It’s hard living your life knowing that you will never get to live the life you feel like you should have had, and knowing there’s nothing I can do to get that life.
If I’m being completely honest with myself, I feel like my disability robbed me of a better life. And logically that’s just sad.
Sometimes all you can do in life is the best you can do, and that has to be enough, I guess.
What are the most important things needed to live a good life?
I understand that this can be a complex question, because it depends what you think a good life is, but I guess that’s the point.
Personally I would have to say one of the most important things needed to live a good life, whatever you believe that to be is Freedom. Freedom can look different to everyone. It can be the safety to live independently from others, or the ability to choose what you wear, how you look and where you go when you want.
Essentially I think Freedom is defined as living whatever life you want to live, within the bounds of not causing harm to others obviously.
Everything else I can think of that someone might need to live a good life, all stems from this idea of having the freedom to live the way they want to live.
A good life is a life that makes you happy, a life that doesn’t intentionally hurt others, life doing the things you enjoy.
I know this is a vague answer to the question but I don’t really want to be more specific, as I know that a good life can only really be defined by the person who is living it. The one thing I am clear about is that you do not live a good life if your life involves intentionally hurting others. This is never a good life, just keep to your own good life, and let others live theres.
By my own definitions here I don’t life a good life, I can’t do what I want when I want it because I need help to do it, make of that what you will.
When you need help for a lot of things in life, Freedom is conditional, so in my opinion it’s not really freedom.
I don’t live a bad life, by any stretch. I live the best life I can with the situation that my life has been presented to me. But I struggle sometimes to see it as a good life, by what I truly believe a good life to be.
Who do you spend the most time with?
To be honest I wanted to say my fur babies, and be more positive with answering this question, but then I thought about it.
I thought about the fact that I can’t really be left alone for long. That when I am more than not something happens that I need someone’s help for. And how that means that I often spend a lot of time with the person who carers for me more than anything.
Often I relish the small amount of time I am able to spend on my own, with my own thoughts. As it doesn’t happen often, where I feel completely comfortable, I truly enjoy it.
Sometimes I just really wish that I didn’t need to be with someone all the time. That I could manage the little things in life myself.
If you had to change your name, what would your new name be?
Your name says a lot about who you are I think. And I honestly can’t say what I would change my name to, or if I would at all.
I’ve always liked the name Jamie, though I can’t recall exactly why, it just sounds nice. So maybe that.
What fears have you overcome and how?
I have so many fears, that to be honest I can’t place just one that I have overcome.
I feel like working on them all is a lifelong task.
I’ve gotten better at speaking on the phone. At telling people how I feel. At saying no.
But to say I’ve overcome these fears would be to suggest they no longer scare me, wouldn’t it? And to be honest they do. I think they always will.
Maybe overcoming a fear is to learn to live with that fear and to not let it stop you, rather than never being afraid of something.
But I think it’s a process. Not a to do list.
What jobs have you had?
That’s not strictly true, as I did have a few jobs in university, in situations where they are specifically looking at employing students of the university. There are only things that lasted a day though. I did earn my first and to this day only paycheck which was nice.
But I’ve never really had a job despite trying. Many jobs are inaccessible to me, and people don’t really expect me to work. I tried for awhile to fight against this determine that I would fine something to do. But when your options are already limited, and people are just turning you away because you have no experience as no one will let you try. There’s only so many times you can be told no before you end up listening.
Just remembered that not everybody who doesn’t work doesn’t work because they’ve chosen not to. Whether a person is disabled or not they might want to work they may have tried to work but it is not always that simple.
I can’t just walk into a shop and get a 9-5 to pay the bills. I’ve actually dreamed through having a job like this. A job where I am able to earn my own money and have a role in society is all I really want. But I don’t think it’s in the cars and that makes me sad. 
Do you practice religion?
There’s your answer but I guess should say more.
In all honesty while I don’t believe in religion I do believe in faith. I think organised religion has corrupted faith.
I like to think that wherever people go next it’s where they want to be and with who they want to be with.
Religion shouldn’t be uded for control or hate as it often is. And I also think people should experience other religions and faoth, so they can take in all the information available and make an informed decision. It’s surely bias to only learn about one way of living.
My Inaccessible Life 