Tag: Cats

I built this

On By Katy DalyIn BlogLeave a comment
Image Description: A 4 level grey cat tree with hammock and condo.

So it’s been a while since I posted here and I don’t really have a reason for why that is apart from life did its thing.

Honestly, I can’t remember when the last time I posted was, was it after dad died? I don’t know.

I now live alone, did you know that? Isn’t that cool? That’s something I never thought I’d be able to do, just like building this cat tree independently. If I do say so myself I’m doing pretty well, the cat tree looks nice and I haven’t burned the flat down yet.

It hasn’t all been easy. Recently I had to go without my Chair, and more importantly, Imogen while I didn’t have my chair, that wasn’t fun. But I think I handled that well too. And things are supposed to be hard some of the time right?

I don’t know when I’ll next write on this blog. It might be soon, it could be tomorrow, next week or next month. I don’t want to make promises I won’t end up keeping, so let’s just say we’ll see what happens. But I just wanted to say I’m still here, life is still ticking on. And I hope if you find yourself wandering the blogs of the world, and stumble across me, you’re well.

Living alone.

On By Katy DalyIn My Disability TruthLeave a comment

So first I want to apologies for my absence. It feels weird to continue life after losing someone close but life continues to go on whether you like it or not, so I’m trying to get back into this.

So the person who I live with is pregnant, and they are looking at moving out. So that leaves me at least eventually when they can find somewhere to live, living alone. And while there is no time scale on when this will happen, I’m still trying to plan for when it will happen. For whatever living independently is going to look like for me.

But living independently for me also means living with a dog, I can’t imagine my life without my babies. But one of my carers is very concerned about my ability to manage and in all honesty it’s getting on my nerves now. I’ve not even started trying and she’s already expecting me to fail because I’m disabled, I just don’t think that’s fair.

Sure it’ll take some working out, but I can do this. And I’ve got time to work it out. The only problem I can see is that she sometimes goes to the bathroom in the kitchen in the night. This is something I can clean up once I’m up, but obviously I won’t be up until the first time the cares have been in the morning. And if it really bothers them they can get stuff ready including water the night before, the bathroom is through the kitchen, so they won’t have to go through the kitchen until I’ve had the chance to clean everything.

I literally cannot think of another issue with having her that I can’t solve.

Any anything that might be a little more difficult is just worth it to have her, to live with her, to have my baby.

I deserve comfort and love. And a chance to live my own version of independence and for me that includes living with a dog. I don’t think that’s unfair, even if she sometimes goes in the house. It’s not like I have no way of cleaning it at all or I’m asking them to do it.

Anyway I have time to sort this. I just wish people would leave me to my business, and at least let me try before they’ve decided I’ve failed.

There’s a lot of change in my life lately, none of which I have been able to have a say in. And it’s very annoying to have people judge how I’m dealing with it all, when I’m just trying to do my best.

Image Description: A picture left to right of my yellow Labrador, brown and white caviler King Charles and grey cat all lying or sitting on my bed on a blue blanket. Behind them is two asexual flags on the wall.

The purple heart.

On By Katy DalyIn My Disability Truth, Writing PromptsLeave a comment

What are your favorite emojis?

This one: 💜

That’s because purple is my favourite colour. But there are some other emojis that I really love.

There’s this one: 🩶 the grey heart.

There are two reasons I love the grey heart. The first is because my cat Ellis is grey, so I often use this emoji when posting about them. The second is because it means I can post all the colours of the Asexual Flag in emoji heart form: 💜🤍🩶🖤. That’s the purple heart, followed by the white heart, followed by the grey heart, followed by the black heart.

I feel like here I need to take a second to inform you that for my dogs Bella and Immy I also use coloured hearts. For Bella I use the brown heart: 🤎, and for Immy I use the yellow heart: 💛. And now just because I have an excuse to, I’m going to include a picture of all three of my furbabies below.

Image Description: From left to right lay on my bed is Bella, my brown with white markings caviler king charles, Ellis my grey cat with white markings, and Imogen my yellow labrador.

So back to emojis. Obviously as an aminal lover I love the dog and cat emojis: 🐕 🐶🐈🐈‍⬛️😺. I particularly the black cat emoji and the panting dog emoji: 🐈‍⬛️🐶, as I think they are similar to Ellis and Bella. Then we can’t forget the paw print emoji: 🐾, which is just so cute.

Then I’ve got to say that I love the wheelchair emojis:👩‍🦼👩‍🦽🦼🦽👨‍🦽👨‍🦼. I love that there are different types of wheelchairs included in these emojis, and this one: 👩‍🦼, is similar to my wheelchair, which makes me even happier.

I also have a family member who cannot read or write, but who uses the colour of emojis as one of there ways to communicate. Which is really nice.

I think emojis are both a great tool for accessibility as well as just being a bit of fun. It’s nice they can tick both boxes.

What matters to me makes my life complicated, what I don’t want, I need.

On By Katy DalyIn My Disability TruthLeave a comment

My fur babies are the greatest thing in my life. A lot of the time they feel like the only thing that gives my life meaning. That doesn’t mean I’m perfect in the way I care for them, but I always do my best.

I have to have carers, I hate having carers, I am never going to want to have carers. They feel like the bane of my life a lot of the time. They are so necessary for my existence, yet they make me feel incredibly disabled a lot of the time.

I’m going to admit that my babies aren’t the most well trained, particularly with oldest girl, she has a lot of accidents. I can’t and don’t criticise her for it because it isn’t her fault. But I’ve had carers in the past do that.

My house is clean, but sometimes things are missed for a little bit that’s the way it is. But my carers have complained before about this, and gotten me in some trouble with social services. Lets just say that recent events have made me concerned that they might end up doing the same again.

When you have to have strangers in your house, it can feel like the state of your house is judged a lot. My house is also there work place, particularly my bedroom. I literally have no space in the world that is just mine, and I hate that.

I can’t live in a house that’s a mess, without someone complaining, and I can’t do anything about the mess,. Additionally, what some would see as a major source of that mess, are the only part of my life that I would enjoy.

If I had to choose between my babies and the carers I would choose my babies, but making this kind of choice is something I know that I would suffer physically for.

The truth of the matter is I don’t want carers, I don’t want to have to live with anyone. I want to live on my own in the middle of nowhere, in a campervan, with my babies. But that is never going to happen. I’m never going to be able to be on my own. And I hate that.

So because I have to, I accept that I need carers. And if you don’t really know me that well, you may think that I’m perfectly okay with that. I always try not to cause more problems in life, and that includes complaining about a situation like having carers, to the carers. Honestly the carers I have could show me the same curtiousy, they spend a lot of time complaining about there job in front of me, but that’s beside the point. This politeness has been ingrained in me, and that’s another story, but it doesn’t mean that I’m okay with the situation. And i think I deserve to have somewhere where I vent the true feelings of this situation.

This blog, and my Tiktoks are places that I’ve found that have given me the space to be able to do that. That have given me the space to be able to be more open and honest with my emotions. And I feel like my carers recent intentional vialation and judgement of my me throug my Tiktoks have taken that from me. I checked by the way, she went back months to find dthe tiktoks she had issue with. For the record if it wasn’t obvious, I never include names of carers or companies in anything I record, write or say publicly, but you wouldn’t know that from the reaction I’ve had recently.

Now I feel scared to be open about my feelings publicly and to people that don’t know me. I feel like I’m back to pretending I’m happy with things I’m not happy with, just to make sure other people are not upset. I’m also worried that the carers can use the current situation to spite me and cause some real problems in my life.

For the timebeing I have privated my Tiktok account, and have made steps to block all carerers that attempt to follow me. One of them actually did add me, which I’m pretty sure is not proffessional. This is part of why I’m writing this entry. To keep opening up, and not letting people win, just because they have feelings about how I feel.

So I guess I just want to say, that just because things seem easy, because people have to do things, because they look like they’ve accepted things. Doesn’t mean any of that is true. Life is hard. Having no control is hard. Being judged is hard. These things, at least in my experience don’t get any easier.

My babies.

On By Katy DalyIn Writing PromptsLeave a comment

Can you share a positive example of where you’ve felt loved?

Animals give a love like no other. One we don’t deserve.

They see me in a way no one else sees me.

We truly don’t deserve animals.

Image Description: Myself lay in bed smiling at my grey cat who is on my knee behind them is Imogen Labrador and next to my head is Bella my caviler King Charles

Dogs.

On By Katy DalyIn Writing PromptsLeave a comment

What is your favorite animal?

Both of my girls, make this an easy question. But then again, I also have a cat. You’ll find us all pictured below.

Image Description: Myself lay on my bed with my yellow labrador and grey cat lay on me, and my brown caviler king charles behind my head.

Either way they’re all my babies.

The worst best night of my life.

On By Katy DalyIn BlogLeave a comment

I’m lay in bed after attending another concert. One I’ve really been looking forward to, and I feel like being disabled ruined it. But logically I know that’s just my internalised ableism talking.

If you read my last post you’ll know that concerts are a complex task for me to begin with. And then to have that seemingly be all for nothing, is just hard.

I can’t say I regret going. But I can say the experience was ruined by supposedly necessary accommodations.

This was my view due to those accommodations.

Image Description: a crowd at a concert seen through bars, this stage is visible at the back of the crowd. There are lights by the stage and throughout the photo.

Not for the first time, when attending a concert, did the accessibility here make me wish that I wasn’t disabled. It’s definitely another venue I will not be going to again

And well there is more I can say and more I should say on all of this. I honestly can’t think too much about this right now without getting upset. So I plan to return to this in the future, when I can emotionally process, just how this really felt.

But for now here’s a picture of my cat, who normally sleeps on my bed, but does not cuddle with me like this. All I can think is they must know I’m upset, we don’t deserve animals.

Image Description: a grey and white cat curled up on me my black jumper is also visible underneath the cat. Part of my head is visible to the left of the frame. Part of a pride flag and an asexual flag can also be seen on the wall behind me.

If you find yourself willing and able , could you check out this petition and sign if you agree.

Again, I’m happy to explain the whole situation, when I feel more emotionally stable and able to do so. I’m sorry for being so brief it’s just been a hard night.