Sometimes disabled people need to travel together.

On By Katy DalyIn BlogLeave a comment

But unfortunately, public transport is rarely built for us to do this. And neither our taxis, in reality.

The truth is society doesn’t really seem to want disabled people to travel anywhere, never mind together. but sometimes we’ve got to do what we’ve go to do just like everybody else sometimes travelling with the disabled people.

It’s funny, in that way that’s not funny, that I’m here justifying travelling as a necessity, because doing any thing for fun is just unthinkable as a disabled person.

But public transport really needs to be accommodating of more than one visibly disabled person at a time. Can you image if it only accommodated one (visibly) non-disabled person at a time? Society would all be mad and be saying it’s a waste of money, but when it’s disabled people it’s justifiable.

To make matters worse society often pushes disabled people together, especially when we’re young, they believe we should all be friends. And maybe that’s because they don’t want us to be friend with non-disabled people, but they don’t want to feel guilty for us having no friends.

I don’t know if this is true, but it is something I’ve always believed. I’ve definitely had non-disabled people introduce me to disabled people with the assumption that we’re going to be friends just because we’re both disabled.

And then they create a society that’s not designed to have us in it together. Which honestly makes no sense.

Can we not give advice to people that didn’t ask for any?

On By Katy DalyIn Blog, My Disability TruthLeave a comment

I don’t understand why people do it. That’s a lie I do understand it. I just don’t like it.

Today someone gave me “advice” that I didn’t ask for, and it’s less what they said and more the implications that came with what they said.

I was travelling with someone else who need some assistance to walk independently. This could not be achieved safely on the pavements, due to the uneven nature of the pavements, and so it was safer for us to be in the road.

But someone decided to pull up and inform me that doing this was dangerous. The way you would tell a child not to walk in the road, or play in the street as they say.

Firstly I am an adult. I am cable of keeping myself, and the person I was with, safe. You wouldn’t assume a non- disabled person wasn’t able to do this, so why are you assuming this of a disabled person?

Secondly, if you see a disabled person doing something you don’t understand, don’t immediately assume they’re doing it wrong. A lot of disabled people learn how to do things safely, but differently to how you might consider something should be done. You’d be better of assuming that they just know what they’re doing unless you are sure they aren’t.

I promise you, no disabled person, and especially no wheelchair user, is going in the road for fun. Pavements are a lot less accessible than you might realise.

I promise I know how to exist in an inaccessible world as a disabled person. I’ve been doing it long enough.

Your advice isn’t needed or wanted, and is frankly very insulting.

Grudge prompt?

On By Katy DalyIn My Disability Truth, Writing PromptsLeave a comment

So as I try to get today’s post in before midnight, so that I don’t need to backdate it, I see that I would actually quite like to answer today’s writing prompt. However, I’ve already done this and for some reason you’re unable to answer a prompt once you have posted it on your blog. Now, that would make total sense if they didn’t reuse writing prompts. And I honestly can’t remember what I wrote for this original prompt and would really like to answer it again again. At the very least, I think I should be able to see what I previously wrote to answer the prompt so I would know what I said before. But as it sounds, So as it stands I’m just going to give answers prompt go again.

Quick reminder of a regular disclaimer on this blog. A lot of this post in particular is going to be written by voice to text, it’s not particularly accurate all the time and I don’t really have the energy to closer go over the post to ensure it makes perfect sense. So please do let me know if there are any mistakes you find the only if they affect what the text actually says. I don’t write my black post to be marked.

So the prompt I want to answer simply ask if you are holding a grudge what you were holding about? And that is a hard question to answer then I thought it would be when I just wanted to start this prompt.

I think I will always hold a grudge against WordPress for not letting me answer this prompt twice.

But in all serious, I think I will always hold a grudge against society before excluding me. It makes so much sense when you’re on the outside that no one should be on the outside because you know what it feels like like. It’s hard to listen to society explain away it’s okay that you’re left there. Sometimes I’m just really mad that they don’t rip it down and start all over so that everybody gets a fair shot. Other times I’m mad that I’m the one on the outside that other people get to live the life I will never lead. And not only am I supposed to be okay with that all of the time, if I’m not, it’s my fault for not being positive enough.

Concert equality example

On By Katy DalyIn Blog2 Comments

Why is it not fair to assume that those that need accessibility seats at concerts have the same chance of getting tickets for a show than those that don’t. The answer is it’s simply not true.

On top of the fact that disabled people, who need accessibility seats, are massively limited in where they can sit in a venue and they can only go with one person. Is the fact that there isn’t as many tickets available to them as non-disabled people. In fact the numbers are dramatically different, I’ve worked out an example to show you.

I did some rough maths (I can’t do the actual figures because of course they hide them) to show you just have few accessible seats there are at the AO Arena as one example.

They’re 4 blocks in the ao arena which have accessible seating. There’s roughly 650 seats per block. I took one block and then rounded down as they’re are smaller blocks. So if every seat in the AO arenas 4 blocks was accessible, which it clearly isn’t they’d be 2600 seats for disabled people. To match the roughly 20% of disabled people in society (the figures actually 24% of people are disabled but not everyone’s going to go to a concert) this means to match the capacity of the arena they’re should be 4600 accessible seats. Split across the blocks they’re should be 13 blocks of completely accessible seating. And if you think there’s ever that you never been to a music venue. Usually maybe 30 seats in a block are accessible split across the 4 blocks that’s 120 seats because I guessed let’s say 200 give them the benefit of the doubt. Still nowhere near the 4600 there should be.

And yes I know it’s not perfect. They hide the figures so disabled people don’t have exact numbers to prove to you all how unfair it actually is. And not all disabled people are going to need access tickets. But even with these rough figures the AO arena has less than 5% of the amount of accessible tickets it should have to reflect the percentage of disabled people in society.

Having us in the room is not equality, it is not the equity we deserve. We deserve to have the same number of tickets available to us as non-disabled people do. We deserve to have fun, we deserve to have friends, we deserve to have fun with our friends.

An accessible one.

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What does your ideal home look like?

Honestly, this is this is the reality of being disabled for a lot of people. Most of us want what non-disabled people have and take for granted. A home that I can live in which is completely accessible to me.

An open-planned home, with flexible furniture. And all the accessibility equipment I need through out.

Can I live alone?

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Honesty I don’t know. And that might be a question I have to answer sooner rather than later, given the current situation I find myself in.

There’s lots of factors to be considered here, but with this post I will be focusing on whether I could do so emotionally rather than practically.

I don’t know if I’m more worried to try just because it’s scary to do new things or because I’m scared I won’t be able to do it.

It’s hard sometimes being so physical disabled, being so reliant on others, and being so acutely aware of just how reliant you are. I think the push to possibly living on my own is a reminder of this. And the fact that it’s not exactly on my terms makes it all that little bit more emotionally challenging.

It’s the only place I get to be me.

On By Katy DalyIn Blog, My Disability Truth, Writing Prompts3 Comments

Why do you blog?

While, I started this blog with the more specific topic of accessibility, it has become more about my life generally. I thought that I started it initially as a place to share inaccessibilities that I experience in my life, starting with this more specific topic, hoping it would keep me writing. I did this specifically as I have tried and failed at blogging for a continued period of time. But for some reason, this blog stuck, and it’s still going.

I think it leant itself towards my life experiences generally and some other bits of writing. And trying to post daily blog posts, though I have had to backdate a few became a clear motivator in keeping me writing. As well as giving me something in the day that felt like my own, and if I’m really honest with myself something that it didn’t feel like my disability prevented me from completing.

My blog has become my space to write about the things I feel in a more free way. And though I don’t feel completely free to share everything openly here, it is one of the places I feel most free on all of the internet.

And now because I haven’t slept, I’m going for a nap. Have a good Saturday.

Reliance on technology

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I am reliant on a lot of technology to live my life. One of the most important pieces of technology and reliant on is my wheelchair, but this can break like any other piece of technology can. At the minute I am dealing with a few different wheelchair related problems including footplates that are the wrong height, alongside cushions that are no longer functional and batteries that do not work properly.

When I went to have a the cushion looked at recently I was told that not only do I need a new cushion but my foot plates were the wrong height. If I’m honest, I was confused by that because I’ve had a foot plates at this height for many years. But although I use these chairs, I don’t know a lot about sitting in them correctly so I believe the professional who saw me at my appointment and allow them to fix what they saw as the issue. They were hired but now my feet no longer stay on the foot plates.

While waiting for the cushions to be replaced, I found it was causing too much of a problem for me that my feet would not stay on the foot plate anymore, so I contacted them for a solution. But as if that wasn’t enough of a problem while waiting for solution to these two issues, I developed a problem with my batteries.

Again in trying to be helpful, I did something I’ve done many times before, I picked up some prescriptions for others and took it to them. By the time I got to the house, which isn’t all that far from mine, I had very little battery left in my wheelchair. I had to get someone to walk me home to make sure I got there okay without my chair stopping like it often does when the batteries are really dead. The only way to tell when the batteries is on my wheelchair are going is when they no longer last the distance that they previously did. There’s no indicator on the chair, or any way to really predict the batteries going before they start to go.

This means I had to call the wheelchair services that provide maintenance to my chair and book an appointment for them to replace my batteries as soon as possible. This was something they were able to do quicker than the other repairs I am waiting on, both because batteries are obviously more important but also because they are standard and more easily replaceable than other parts of the chair. But it means I have to put my life on hold to some extent until the batteries are replaced. I have plans tomorrow for example, but I may not be able to follow through on them depending how well my battery wants to work between now and when it will be changed on Monday.

While some people might understand a little bit about what it is like to be reliant on technology in modern society, as tech technology needed a lot. You can’t really understand what it is like to need technology like those with disabilities often do unless you’re in that situation. Technology doesn’t just make things easier, when you’re disabled, it makes things possible.

It can make life difficult, as I promise you it will usually brake at the most inappropriate time for it to brake. But in reality, there’s no good time for something that you need so much to brake. You just have to learn to get by as best you can, and wait for it to be repaired. But I really wish I didn’t have to rely on technology sometimes, especially when it doesn’t work properly.

Hopefully I’ll get my batteries changed on Monday, and the other problems fixed as soon as possible. Then nothing will go wrong with my chair, and I can get on with my life without having to stop it for broken vital technology, for a good while. 

Trying to be helpful.

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So today, I pushed myself to do a lot, I went out of my way to be there for different people in my family. And as my wife always runs on the schedule of my carers, I had to fit doing what I could into them.

Honestly, that’s one thing. I don’t think people consider about getting carers, is how regimented your life has to become as a result. You have to do things at the same time every day regardless of what is thrown at you during that day that might change that. On this day, it was simply taking something that had been forgotten by one person to another, but I had to fit that into everything else I had to do and fit that into my care as well.

I like to do as much as I can for other people, it’s probably some internalised ableist part of me that wants to feel useful because I need so much help off others. As there isn’t much I can do for others, I want to be sure that what I do I do properly.

As I have to get public transport everywhere this can be quite difficult to do when it involves going to different places as it did today. But I do the best I can, and just hope I’m useful.

The struggle of life.

On By Katy DalyIn My Disability TruthLeave a comment

Sometimes it can be really hard to deal with the bad things that happen in life when you are disabled. This is because you are still disabled when the bad things happen.

Over the past few days I have had a family member in hospital, and now that they are home and on the mend I want to write about how that was for me at a disabled person. I’m aware this is selfish but as I’ve said before my blog is my place to be selfish.

It was difficult for me knowing that I wasn’t able to be there for them independently, knowing that I needed help to help them. And trying to be more of a help than a hindrance to there recovering.

Having those around me in hospital is a difficult reminder for me of the perminace of my disability. That regardless of the situation I can’t do a lot of physical things to help. It was difficult to not be able to help as much as I wanted but I did my best and I have to remind myself of that.

I just wish I could do more, because what I can do, never feels like enough.