I hate being disabled sometimes. I categorically hate it. It’s a visceral anger that I don’t know what to do with.

I realise recently that it mostly correlates with when I am placed in situations where I feel like a burden for reliant on others. Like I can’t change anything else, but I can be mad at myself for being in that situation. And at least that’s something, even if I know it’s not healthy. And unfortunately the person who I am heavily reliant on has an annoying habit of making me feel this way.

This leads to me feeling so broken for ever needing help, like I’m the worst person in this persons world, there biggest inconvenience. And they’re treating me like I forced them into a situation that they agreed to live in.

It’s not my disability that makes me feel like a burden. It’s always others.