If you’ve wondered why I’ve been away, that’s why. And coincidentally today is the day I find myself wanting to write again.

It’s difficult after someone dies, not knowing when the appropriate time to start your life again is. But one thing I have noticed that is different with loosing my mum than loosing my dad, is that my life started again much sooner, it had to.

When my mum died my dad was there to do all the things that needed to be done. My dad kept life going and we got to grieve a little more. But when my dad died those things fell to me and my siblings. And we had to pick life up and keep it going.

There’s a lot of mixed emotions when someone dies, and loosing my dad has caused such a dramatic change in my life that it’s caused a lot more. I suddenly have the responsibility I’ve wanted for a lot of my life, I’m suddenly needed in a practical sense to do things.

It’s strange.

I’m an orphan now.

But at the same time I’m suddenly an adult.

We’re yet to have the memorial. I’m kind of worried what happens after that, when it’s all done and this is just life now. But I guess we’ll cross that bridge when it comes to it.