I’m sitting here unable to sleep because I need help but I cannot get that help until the morning.

When a key part of your independence is needing help from others, you have to wait till they’re ready to help you, to be independent. So it can feel like you have zero independence at all.

Now I don’t have the emotional ability right now to argue how I’m still independent despite needing help and others are just a tool to get me what I need. I’m really struggling right now I feel so broken.

I tell myself I’m an independent person, but right now I’m not feeling that independent. I feel like a child who needs help with everything.

There was going to be more thought into this post when I started it. But I think the lack of sleep from an incontinence incident that I’m stuck waiting for help with is getting to me.

I don’t wish I could walk, it’s all the other things I can’t do because of my disability that get to me honestly. Like all the help I need. Like having to wait for others to help me. Not getting to do what I want when I want to do it.

It’s just hard right now.