I have been looking at getting some work, mainly because in all honesty I just want something to do with my time and a little extra income would be nice. But I do not have the ability, the energy, or the opportunity to work a full time job.

So I have to be sure that any work I find must not cost me the benefits I receive, as I need them to ensure all bills are paid. But they don’t make that easy.

Working within the benefits system is just so complicated, that yet again I feel like it isn’t worth what it will cost me, for what I’ll get out. It’s just too much.

It doesn’t make sense really, a system that claims it wants to get people into work, to be so difficult to navigate.

I wish I could just go and work in a shop, that that would be something I would be able to do. That I could just have something to do that would bring me enough income to be self-sufficient. But my disability, society, has to make things so much more complicated for me

I honestly don’t know why I keep trying, and yet I do.

But people who do not know better call me lazy, say I have not tried, when all I have done is try. I’m tired of trying.

I’m tired of not being able to work.

I’m tired of the system being so complicated.

I’m tired of it all being down to me to try, when it is clear others want me to fail, so I will.

I’m just tired.