Sometimes I forget that, because when disability is your normal you don’t feel disabled.

But when the person I live with came to me tonight and asked if it would be okay if they stayed somewhere overnight in a couple of months, I wanted to say sure, because I don’t want to stop them doing anything. But my first reaction was what do I do while you’re not here?

Now I’m lucky to have someone else that can come stay with me for the night, so that they can go and do what they want to do and I still won’t be alone. But it dawned on me then that means I can’t be alone. And as I write this, I really don’t know how to feel about that.

It’s like a reminder that I’m still disabled. And people who know me who aren’t disabled might find that odd because I am very obviously disabled and it doesn’t make sense that I would just forget. But I really don’t feel that way most of the time.

In many ways, disability can be a mindset. But this isn’t the positive mantra you think it is. It can lead to a disconnect between the body and the mind, that I’ve had trouble dealing with all my life. And can make the reality of realising I’m disabled, difficult to deal with at times.