You’re writing your autobiography. What’s your opening sentence?

A story that doesn’t quite fit together.

As a sentence on its own own, this makes no sense. Which I suppose could be said to defeat this purpose of this writing prompt. But to me, this just seems perfect.

It seems like the perfect way to describe a life that has felt like it never ended up with anything. My mind always seems and a different page page to my body, and I really don’t know where my heart is half to time. But it seems to be the prevailing theme of my life, that these areas, nor any areas will ever line up.

Did you ever play that game where you would draw the top half of something, a person maybe, or write the first sentence of a story. Then you would fold over the page and hand it to the next person to draw or write the next part. And so on until you had a completed, drawing or a completed story. Then you would read the story out loud, or look at the drawing, and laugh.

You would always laugh at them nonsense that would be produced. When the person before I had no idea what had been written drawn. When the next step seemed to be off kilter with the previous.

My entire life, kind of feels like that.

I can’t say I have a bad life. There are some really great parts. But I always get a sense that I’m living a life that was never supposed to be mine.

I don’t mean that in the sense that I believe someone else should have had to deal with my difficulties. I’m frequently glad that while those around me have their own struggles, they aren’t the ones I have.

I mean it in the sense that it feels like I mind or a soul like mine wasn’t built for the life I have no choice but to lead.

Does that make sense?

Does it sound selfish? Is it selfish? I honestly don’t know.

But that’s where I got the opening sentence for my autobiography from. Or more accurately, I suppose the opening idea.

Interestingly, even my sexuality found itself fitting into this area. Despite that being a lot more difficult to figure out in many ways. And yet it sometimes feels like the only part of my life that makes any kind of sense, and as in any way within my control. But I have to be very careful with exploring that as I can easily get sidetracked.

While I know that my life will never slot into the life I feel I should have had. I can only hope that one day it at least slots together, and begins to feel like one life. That I begin to feel like one person, rather than several parts of a person that will never quite meet.