Anyone reading this who thinks that people choose to be on benefits can keep their opinion to yourself.

I will probably always rely on benefits, this has something that has taken me a lot of time to come to terms with, and I’m still working on it honestly. I have tried to get a job, but despite my qualifications my disability seems to be a massive barrier that I’m not sure I will ever overcome. Even if I were to get a job there would be certain benefits I would still receive and rely on. But that’s not the point of this post.

I write this post, with a little shame towards the jealousy I feel that fuels it. As I’m unable to get a job, there are many things in life that will remain inaccessible to me.

I will not be able to buy my home.

I will not be able to decorate the home I do have in a way I actually like.

I am unlikely to be able to go on holiday.

Or have any experiences that cost money.

Essentially being unable to work means I will always be on a low income and then have to live by that income.

Though I don’t like it, I understand the economic motivations behind this. The fear would be that if you gave people a comfortable life that they could enjoy on benefits, that no one would want to work. Therefore working is a motivator for a more enjoyable life.

And while I don’t feel that this is the case, even if it were true, it doesn’t consider those who are unable to work. Therefore those who are unable to improve there life in any way.

Now don’t get me wrong, my life isn’t bad. And I am relatively comfortable. But I am frustrated by the fact I am stuck in this life and unable to improve it because working is inaccessible to me.