Sometimes, being alone feels inaccessible to me. And yes, I phrased it like that just to fit the blog, but let me explain.

I’ve only had to be alone for a couple of hours today. But I did have to answer the door to my carers during this time. I somehow managed to get myself caught in my charges. I have a habit of being able to do that, in ways you wouldn’t imagine.

Usually I have the help to get myself out of it, but tonight I did not. I panicked. however, I was able to unstick myself from the mess I had created and therefore let the carers in. But I know for a fact, this will now have made me nervous for the next time I am alone when I’m expecting my Carers to come.

But as I’m sure, whoever decides to read, this will know, being worried about something doesn’t mean you can avoid it. For me, it comes up every week or so at the minute.

The most annoying part of all of this is that I really want to be alone, I think. But because of my disability, I am unable to be alone for very long periods of time. And it’s just my luck that during the times I am alone, something seems to always go wrong, like tonight.

You’d think I would be used to it by now, not be able to be alone. But I don’t think you ever get used to the things in life that aren’t a choice.