My sister just drove my chair into my bed which then hit my wall because my bed is also on wheels. A wall that is very poorly painted as I live in a council house. A wall which is damaged again.

It keeps happening.

The price of living in a wheelchair in a flat not properly designed for someone in a wheelchair is constant damage of the building in various ways. I know this. I’ve been a wheelchair user my whole life. And yet it still frustrates me.

I will get over the damage I know I will, I always do. I know that it’s not really important. But right now I’m angry with myself for being disabled. All I can think is this damage wouldn’t be happening if I wasn’t disabled. The internalised ableism is winning.

But I know in reality that the problem is the inaccessibility of housing for people in wheelchairs like myself. That without a lot of money, housing will always be inaccessible to me and I will always end up damaging it in one way or another.

I just wish it didn’t upset me every time. When I know it’s an inevitability I can do nothing about.