I recently bought a new washing machine, that currently sounds like it’s going to fly out of my kitchen. There’s a problem with the water pipe in the back of it, and while I understand from what I’m told how to fix the problem, I am not in a position to do that at all.

This is a regular occurrence for me, understanding a situation but not being able to act in it, so you would think I’m used to it. I’m not. It’s almost always hard for me to deal with. It’s definitely hard for me to deal with right now.

I am lucky to have a lot of help in my day to d ay life. But with needing that help comes the reality that you are unable to control the help. This is where you get to be mad at me for sounding controlling, but let me defend myself for a minute and say I think it’s more like lack of control.

When there’s a problem, I want it solved. When I can’t be the one to solve it, I have to wait.

And I know this is something that everyone deals with, but for me, it’s different. For me, it’s almost every problem, and certainly all the physical problems, that I need to go to someone else for. That I have no choice but to wait to be solved.

I’m tired of it.