As I write this I’m sat with my brother in my room waiting for my dad to come and pick him up. This morning he asked me if it was okay if he let himself in to my house when he got here. And of course I said yes because that just makes things easier for me.

But instead of being struck by a sense of independence that he would actually ask my permission to come in the house. I was hit with a sense of playing house. This idea that I will never be an actual adult and I’m always going to be pretending at being a grown up.

Why I do recognise that this is something everyone has to deal with, this imposter syndrome of adulthood. I think it’s harder to believe you’re an adult when you need help a lot of the time.

Not only being an adult but believing you’re an adult is a learning curve, and I’m trying. Today’s just not a great day for believing.