Do lazy days make you feel rested or unproductive?

I’m writing this post at 6am and the reason I’m awake at 6am is because I fell asleep early. I fell asleep early, after sleeping a lot of the day. Thank you fatigue. But I guess I can’t exactly say it’s a lazy day because I did actually get everything done that I needed to do.

So a day that’s spent sleeping a lot can actually be quite a productive day for me at least. Though I usually do have to deal with my sleeping pattern being worse, but there are negatives to everything. Sleeping is often viewed as the ultimate expression of laziness, so I’m guessing from an outside perspective a day I spent sleeping is what you may view as a lazy day.

But the question is do I think a day where I’ve spent sleeping a lot is a day where I’ve been lazy? And the answer is no.

Maybe this is because I’m disabled, maybe it’s because I have to listen to my body more as a disabled person. Maybe it’s because I simply love a good nap. But I don’t think spending the day sleeping is being lazy or being unproductive, it’s doing what I need to do.

Now I do think laziness exists, or more accurately at least I can be lazy. To me laziness is when I have the full mental and physical energy, the spoons, to do something and I just can’t be bothered to do it. Not to be confused with when I don’t want to do something because I don’t have the spoons to do something.

I think a day spent sleeping is a good day. But this is only the case when I manage to get the things done that I need to do. As I did yesterday.

You could call this my own internalised ableism, but if I sleep instead of getting things done I do end up feeling guilty about it. But I don’t feel like I need to spend every day doing something to be productive.

So I guess this one is just to say that you should listen to your body, which I know is easier said than done. And do better than me, don’t feel guilty when listening to your body means you’re unable to do something that you were supposed to do.

It is 6am, and just my luck the fatigue is picking up again, when I need to be up in an hour, frustratingly. So I apologies if this post doesn’t make a lot of sense.