My response to someone’s Facebook post in a CNBC group that I’m in. I became really emotive while writing it and I thought maybe I’d share it with you all.

I know where you’re coming from I think. The idea that people thing any life is obtainable because you don’t have children is so deeply untrue. I’m disabled and poor. The entire world is built against people like me. Less than 100 years ago. I’d have been left for dead. So no I can’t just live my best life without kids. But even if that were possible, even if everything else lined up in the world to allow me to do that, none of it makes that the life I wanted. Any life I live, even if it one day becomes a good life, even if by comparison to others it is already a good life. Will never be the life I dreamed of, the life I wanted to lead. And there’s an element of grief involved in that. Feelings that need to be felt. Feelings that go without respect. Because at least you can…. No. I can’t. And thank you very much for just pointing out something else unreachable.

This is your reminder, and my reminder of a few important feelings. It’s okay to grief the life you wanted, it’s okay to have bad days where that’s all you can think about. Feeling how you feel doesn’t undo the good going on in your life now. Find ways to let it out. You deserve to be allowed to grieve, just like everyone else. You don’t need to be happy all of the time just because the rest of the world wants you to be. Your happiness is not something that exists to make everybody else feel better about their own life. Your happiness and your emotions are about you and no one else.