I swear there’s no other job that you can lie so much and it somehow be expected. It makes no sense.

I really dont understand why my carers can’t just tell me the truth.

All they would have to do is be honest with me about doing the job they agreed to. And yet they don’t, they’re late and they about it. And I feel like I’m the horrible person for being so upset about it, for simply expecting them to allow me to live my life.

I’m trying to think that they’ll be one day that my carers won’t limit what I’m trying to do. But sometimes it feels like living any sort of independent, accessible life is impossible.

I’m just tired.

Tired of trying.

Tired of my trying not working.

Tired of it being so hard to try.

I don’t feel as disabled as my carers often remind me that I am. I don’t think they’re used to that. Someone that wants and believes they can live the life they want, or at least as much of it as possible, that is as physically disabled as me.

I don’t know when my carers are not going to be a problem. I need them. But I also want so badly to be free of them.

For now though all I really want is for tell me the truth.