So I had some interesting experiences with phone calls this week, and I am the type of person who struggles making phone calls. As a disabled person, who has various different appointments and things to deal with, struggling to make phone calls, can make things complicated. So every time I am able to do this, it feels like a little bit of a win for me, my independence and my inclusion in the world.

On Monday I had to make a phone call to get a repair done on my wheelchair and to be honest as phone calls go that went very well. I had to leave a message, and they go back to me, thankfully my wheelchair is now fixed.

The second phone call I had, happened just moments before I wrote this post. I received a phone call from my social worker, asking me if I would accept a male carer as a regular carer with this new company that has apparently agreed to take one of my calls if I agree to these terms. I of course said no. The fact that this was even a question honestly bothers me. I have nothing against men as carers, and as having a male carer when needed to cover my call. But I would honestly really struggle with this being something regularly. I was able to stand up for myself with this, but it left me feeling guilty as I refused a possible solution to a problem.

It’s difficult, knowing I need care, but not being able to get the exact care that I want. Striking that balance is incredible difficult but is something that I will have to do for the rest of my life. Frustratingly now my care as it is seems to be going okay, and the need to change companies isn’t so apparent as it has been. Hopefully a solution for my care will present itself soon enough, I just hope this isn’t as complicated as it has been for the rest of my life, because honestly things have been bad.

To anyone reading this I am proud of you for whatever you managed to achieve today, try to be proud of yourself as well.