Yesterday someone randomly handed me a small amount of money in the street. There was no warning they simple came up to me and gave it me. I tried to give it back to them, but they wouldn’t take it and walked away. I obviously didn’t feel comfortable keeping money that wasn’t mine, so I donated it.

When I posted this on my local Facebook group to inform the person should they read it what I had done with the money, all of the comments praised them for their actions. I understand why they reacted positively and I’m certain that the person meant well. However, I want to further discuss the possible reasoning behind three actions, and I don’t think this is something I would be able to do on that platform, without being told that I’m looking to find problems.

It honestly felt a little bit insulting, like a person just looked at me and assumed I needed help. This is essential ableism, as the person would likely not look at any person in the street and the determine that the right things to do would be to randomly give them money. It is clear to me that in order to do this the person had to in some way see me as less than others, to see me as worthy of giving there money to.

While helping people is obviously good, assuming they need help or helping them to make you feel better, is not good. Intent matters, not just the outcome.

In terms of the money, it was donated immediately to charity. While to the individual they tried to do something nice for me, I did not want nor need the money that was given to me.

Think about the person you are actually helping, when you decide if and how you are going to help them.