For a long time I struggled not blaming myself for my inaccess to the world. It was hard to believe I wasn’t the problem, when everyone was always making so clear that I was.

As I get older I go through periods of being busy and then free as I’m sure we all do. And every time I reach this quiet time from the business, I’m reminded that I no longer feel disabled. In all honesty, this makes me not want to go out a lot.

But I won’t let the ableism of society beat me. I won’t let run my life. I’m going to keep trying.

But no more for today. Today I think I’m just going to sleep.

I am tired.