As a write this Mothers Day in America has just passed, and due to well the internet, the American holiday is actually harder for me than the UK holiday, which passed several weeks ago. Writing this post, I cannot decide whether I will post it, but if you’re reading this, it means that I obviously decided to. It might be a while though.

While I have in passing mentioned this term on this blog before I have not mentioned it in any level of detail as to how I personally relate. This is what I am going to attempt to do in this post.

While there are many reasons that a person might be Childless Not By Choice, which I hope is a self explanatory term, mine specifically can be said to relate to inaccessibility that I face.

My disability itself is the primary cause of why having children is not a possibility for me. Getting pregnant, in itself, is something I don’t know if it were possible, and then having and caring for a baby a whole other questions that need to be answered. Its a complicated situation to say the very least.

A situation that I would perhaps be better able to navigate the way I want to, if I had the money to do so, so that is one barrier. But there is an obvious other barrier that even if I had the money to have a child, caring for theme would be a difficult thing for me to do speaking physically.

I don’t know how to deal with this all the time, and I don’t honestly know if I ever will. To be completely honest I’ve been really struggling with this all lately.

I don’t really want to go into any more detail on this, right now. It’s all very personally and honestly difficult for me. But I hope this post, whenever I post it and whenever you see it. Reaches someone who needs to see it.

I’m sorry that this post kind of trails of a little bit. I had a better idea of what to write when I started writing this. I have kind of lost that now. I might return to this topic in the future. But I honestly don’t know.

I hope, if you know how this feels, that you understand that you are not alone. That’s all I really know how to say on this for now.