What advice would you give to your teenage self?

If I could speak to my teenage self, I should tell her it’s okay to let her disability effect her. That she doesn’t have to push herself to be better than my disability, and equal in society. That she matters as a disabled person, not just as a person.

Now while also of this is valid in every context. There is a specific reason I say this.

I am Asexual.

The very basic definition of this refers to a person who does not feel sexual attraction. But as the actual spectrum of Asexuality I prefer to say that someone who is Asexual doesn’t feel sexual attraction the same way that someone who is Allosexual does. An Allosexual person refers to someone who feels sexual attraction in the way defined as typical by the rest of sociey.

Being Asexual is complicated as a lot of people don’t view it as a valid sexuality. Being a disabled Asexual person is a little more complicated due to our sexual history as disabled people.

So I would tell my teenage self that there is nothing wrong with her for not wanting sex, that sex doesn’t define you or anyone else as a person. And that no amount of pretending you want sexual intimacy will ever make things comfortable for you. And even though this may be in part because of your body and the way it works physically, that does not make you any less valid as a person, a disabled person or an asexual person. You will find where you belong in the sexualised world around you I promise.

This one might not be strictly about inacessiblity. But as an Aegosexual Asexual the Allosexual world is pretty inacessible to me. Sorry I know that’s a stretch.

I won’t get into this more in this post. But if you have any questions about what I’ve asked. Feel free to ask them and I can always do another post.